#like I remember wanting to meet them so bad

[zhelin-thames]

Translated ver of this post by @doby-mans

Translated by google

Another idea I had for a DC x DP crossover, remembering canonically that Danielle went off on her own to different parts of the world.

This time, Young Justice. Danielle becomes part of the team, and everyone assumes she's a Martian, given that she focuses more on her magical abilities and skills like camouflage and phasing through walls.

But one day, Miss Martian falls ill and can’t use her telepathic powers to keep the team connected during a mission. They all turn to Danielle. Despite the setback, the mission goes well—they recover a dangerous magical artifact, a box with strange inscriptions. Finally, someone speaks up:

Superboy: “Why didn’t you establish a psychic link during the mission?”

Danielle: “Because I don’t have telepathic powers?”

Superboy: “We all know you’re a Martian like Miss Martian, so…”

Danielle: “I’m not! None of you understand the true nature of my powers, and maybe you never will! You don’t know what it’s like to be me!”

Robin: “What is it we don’t understand? Being different? Having powers no one fully comprehends? Being a teenager with raging hormones?”

Danielle: “No! Being an artificially created clone made in a secret lab!”

Impulse: “Let’s see, Superboy, Red Arrow, Robin… and now Danielle. Am I forgetting anyone?”

Danielle: “Wait, what?”

Superboy: “You’re not the first in that situation here. So, Martian DNA?”

Danielle: “Worse… The true nature of my powers… ghost DNA.”

Zatanna: “If that’s true, then you’re exactly what we need. According to the box’s inscription, only a halfa can open it.”

Danielle: Attempts to open the box but her hand starts melting. “Ah! I can’t… My ghost powers aren’t stable. This hasn’t happened in years.”

Robin: “Too bad there’s no other halfa to open the box.”

Danielle: “Well… that’s not entirely true. Besides me, there are two others. One is a dangerous villain—my creator—who disappeared years ago. And the other…”

Zatanna: “What about the other?”

Danielle: “The other… well, he’s…”

The entire Justice League, Young Justice, and Batfamily, who were either present or on the comms: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE GHOST KING?!”

Danielle: “He’s the only other halfa left in this world, and he’s much stronger and more stable than I am. Do you want to open the box or not?”

Batman: “This could be important. Call him.”

Danielle: “I already did. I asked him to meet us here at the Gotham base.”

Nightwing: “We might have a problem. We were in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack when what looks like a flying boy froze her in seconds.”

Batman: “Froze her?”

Red Robin: “That’s not all. Joker, Penguin, and Two-Face were attacking on the same street, and the same boy let out some kind of super scream that knocked all of them unconscious, including their henchmen.”

Danielle: “Oh no… He’s mad.”

Robin: “Uh… The same boy just duplicated himself and locked every villain and criminal in the city inside what looks like a box made of his own energy.”

Danielle: “Oh no, he’s really mad.”

Danny: Appearing directly behind her. “Of course, I’m mad! I told you to call me the moment you became unstable! You know what could’ve happened!”

Danielle: “I know, I know, but you don’t have to worry. I haven’t needed an ectoplasm injection in years. Meditation usually works.”

Danny: “Have you been melting before?!”

Danielle: “Don’t be so overprotective. I called you for a different reason.”

Danny: “Don’t change the subject. Don’t make me ask Clockwork to keep an eye on you.”

Red Hood: “Clockwork?”

Danny: “The Ghost of Time.”

Batman: “We need help with this box.”

Danny: “And who’s this furry?”

Danielle: “That’s Batman, the hero of this city.”

Danny: “Well, terrible job. I’ve been here for two seconds, and I already had to clean up the mess. That box… it looks a bit like Pandora’s Box. Where did you get it?”

Wonder Woman: “But Pandora’s Box should be protected by…”

Danny: “Pandora herself. In my realm. Exactly.”

Danielle: “We recovered it during a team mission. Apparently, only a halfa can open it, but I couldn’t, and it destabilized me.”

Nightwing: “I don’t know what confuses me more: the box thing or how many powers this guy has.”

Danny: “That’s easy. I have classic ghost powers, including the ones I used around the city. But as King, I have access to ancient magical artifacts, like the Crown of Fire, which greatly amplifies ghost power. Along with the Ring of Rage, the power would be infinite, but I made a deal with the former king. He keeps the ring and his freedom as long as he doesn’t cause chaos. Then there’s Aragon’s Amulet, which basically gives dragon powers. There’s also the Ghost Key, which can literally open any door, whether in my world or this one…”

Danielle: “Is the list of magical objects really that long?”

Danny: “I was just missing the Reality Gems, which could change reality itself as we know it. But, of course, I already destroyed those…”

Batman: “The box is the priority.”

Danny: “Right. We shouldn’t open it. If it’s like Pandora’s Box, then whatever’s inside is very dangerous. But fine, if that’s what you want…” Opens the box and immediately both he and Danielle feel overwhelming discomfort. “I know this feeling. It’s… a Blood Blossom.”

[avelera]

I should put this in the tags but omg thank you for the first CORRECT FUCKING TAKE I’m so so tired of seeing people who lament them not meeting cuz they’d somehow be science buddies or FRIENDS

Jayce would LOATHE Jinx! They wouldn’t just be beefing, Jayce might be the only person who has more reason than CAITLYN to fucking KILL HER.

She stole his hexgem and destroyed his life! Twice! Her stealing the gems as a kid almost led Jayce to commit suicide! The second time she stole his Hexgem she ruined his life again! He has to become a Councilor to do damage control after, which tore apart his relationships and put him in a position of authority that made him responsible for the whole damn city!

She killed his patron / friend’s mom! She hurt and kidnapped his only friend besides Viktor, Caitlyn!

She shot the rocket into the damn Council Chamber that killed Viktor and forced him to use fucking necromancy and the Hexcore to try to bring him back and then Viktor came back wrong and everything that followed after for Jayce in S2 is basically because of that goddamn rocket destroying his life AGAIN!

Like holy shit it doesn’t matter that she’s smart or bubbly or fun on a good day, people in her life who love her struggle with what she’s done! Ekko gave up on her until he saw her in an alternate universe! That’s how much it took!

Jayce would HATE HER. It would take as long and complicated an arc as Caitlyn’s for him to ever be able to be in the same room with her without remembering all she took from him!

I’m sorry to yell about this but holy shit every time I see takes that like it’s a shame Jinx and Jayce should have been friends I’m like ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? I get wanting it for fanon or fic but in canon she’s the driving force behind about 90% of the bad things that have EVER happened to him! And she barely even knows he exists!

Fucking dying over this one because they would cross each other's paths, realize who each other were and we'd be treated to a fucking three minute long chase across the city that would just end with Jayce flying at Jinx like-

[iinterstellaarr]

imagine having a crush on highschool!suguru geto…

you were always able to hear him before you saw him. okay, maybe not him, but definitely his best friend. it was hard to ever see suguru alone, he was usually attached at the hip with satoru or hanging around shoko. although, at night, he was always with you

the air was crisp on your cheeks and the sound of your shoes crunching against the snow was one of the only sounds you could hear. two drinks clinked together in your plastic shopping bag when you made it to the park by your house. the swings swung gently against the cold wind. to some, the sight was eerily reminiscent of those liminal spaces you’d see online, but to you, this was a place of comfort. you found your spot on the middle swing and kicked your legs back and forth gently.

this was your routine. you’d go to the convenience store, grab a drink for you and suguru and you’d talk. his voice always calmed you down after a long day of school work and you could tell letting him vent his frustrations or even just have someone else to talk too helped.

“hey.” his hair draped over his face with a sort of elegance, although his eyes said anything but. he always looked tired. that was the first thing you noticed about sugurus eyes, well, second to the piercing black color of them.

“i was wondering where you were,” you pulled out a green tea and gently handed it to him as he sat on the swing next to you

“satoru wanted to play overwatch and i told him i was going to bed soon so i couldn’t.” he tucked the long bangs away from his face while he talked to you, it was almost like he was pulling away the curtain he put up around everyone else.

“ooo, bad boy lying to his best friend to go sneak out and meet a girl? how would satoru ever manage if he found out?” you dramatically drapped your hand across your forehead with faux worry. his lips tugged into a small smile at your antics

“he’d be just fine if he knew” suguru rolled his eyes and chuckled. his laughter was deep and it made your chest feel like it was vibrating. something about suguru held such an intense mystery. it was a miracle you and him became so close, and it’s a miracle he let you in close enough to grow a blooming crush for you.

“no, i’m quite sure he’d go up to you tomorrow with bright red cheeks and huff about your treacherous ways.” you hypothesized, satoru was always one for the theatrics, even if he never meant all the drama that came with him. it made you smile when you’d see him and suguru standing next to each other. suguru had an aura of mystery while satorus mystery was a deeper issue that he angrily pushed to the side, that much of satoru you could read. the rest was written in a different language from your mother tongue unfortunately.

suguru laughs and it sends you to another planet. his small chuckle always means the world too you, even if you hear it all the time.

“he’ll be fine. i promise.” he tips his head back and takes a sip of the drink you brought. you look out onto the snowy playground and reminisce on the times you and suguru would come here as kids.

“we’ve known each other for a while, huh?” you looked over at suguru who seemed to be remembering as well

“yeah, i remember when you thought it’d be a good idea to jump off that slide and broke your arm.” he pointed to a curly yellow slide and you huffed

“oh give me a break, i was like seven” he shrugged and turned to you, smiling

“and i told you it was a bad idea, but no,” you pushed him slightly and he steadied his swing with his long legs.

“i can’t believe we’re gonna be graduating soon” you stand up with a huff and walk over to the play set with a sad smile

“just 5 more months, then me and satoru will become sorcerers and you’re gonna have to get a real job” he follows you, his shoes crunching in the thin layer of frost with each step

“i’m sad.” you looked back at suguru who seemed confused

“why?” he watched as you lightly touched the shiny yellow slide, the plastic freezing under your touch.

“we’re gonna become strangers”

“whoah, who said anything about that?” he almost looked offended you would suggest he would forget you

“well, you’ll be busy with all the sorcerers stuff. i’m gonna be busy with…life. there’s gonna be hardly any time to hang out.” you shrug slightly

“well yeah, but we’ll make time��

“we hardly make time now. these meetings are the only time we actually see each other.” you sat down on the cool slide, suguru crouching in front of you

he seemed lost for words, or maybe lost in thought? you could never read him which pissed you off to no end. you wished you could jump in his brain and see exactly what he was thinking

“we’ll run away.”

you laugh curtly at his suggestion

“i’m being serious, fuck all the sorcery shit. me and you, we’ll run away.”

you never took his suggestion seriously

that was until he actually did run away,

forgetting you in the process.

[suzukiblu]

Day twenty-seven of “Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it” behind the cut. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Tim keeps kissing Bernard just as easy and appreciative as he slides another fingertip lightly along Kon’s rim all slick and warm, and Kon realizes he must’ve grabbed the lube again at some point. He didn’t really–notice, before. It feels . . . it’s good, and his body opens right up for it the same as the last two. Feels–feels warm, and a little bit tight, and like just enough of a stretch to notice. Feels full, and like he’s doing something right; doing just what Tim wants him to be doing; being just what Tim wants him to be. 

He concentrates on that, and not the part of him that wants to get kissed like that by somebody again. 

“I think actually getting Timmed might be worse,” Bernard half-mutters, and Tim laughs, and Kon’s chest tightens up in a weird way. 

He likes how they feel around him; inside him and against him and wrapping him all up. He likes how they kiss each other, and how Bernard makes Tim laugh like that, and how they look in cute couples’ selfies together, and just how happy and easy Tim gets whenever Bernard comes up in conversation. Really likes how their heartbeats sound together. Likes it all. 

It just hurts a little right now, for some reason. 

Kon doesn’t . . . he doesn’t get what about that’s . . . 

“Kon,” Tim says, stroking his free hand up his ribs, and Kon’s whole head all reorients from top to bottom, just like every time Tim ever says a single thing to him at all, and especially every time Tim says his name. “Do you remember what you asked for?” 

Kon . . . frowns, a little, and can’t . . . he asked for something? 

“Dun . . . dunno,” he manages to mumble, and Tim’s fingers stroke up inside him and between them and Bernard’s cock he really–he really– 

It must be the pink K, he thinks a little bit vaguely. Like–it must be, right? That he wants specifically cock right now, and wants specifically cock this fucking bad. He doesn’t wanna get out of Bernard’s lap at all, even with Tim’s fingers inside him again too. And like–there’s being invulnerable enough to make it easier to take cock and there’s, like–obsessing over wanting cock, which is definitely not the same thing. 

But, like–he does always get real into the girls he fucks too, and specifically real into their cunts, so . . . like, it’s the same theory, right? He always wants to take his time and go back to them again and again; eat them out and fuck them as many times as they’re willing to let him and even stay inside them even after they’ve both come, sometimes, and . . . 

So it’s just–it’s the same thing as that, right? Just–reversed, or whatever. Just the other way around. 

. . . well, that’d definitely explain how hard it’s been to stop thinking about sucking Tim off again. 

He wonders if–like, if he could maybe spend as long doing that as he’s spent eating out some of the girls he’s slept with. Like, definitely not as long as he could with Cassie or anybody else on that level of endurance and invulnerability, and definitely not as long as Cass was nice enough to let him, especially since Tim’s not gonna be able to come as many times as a girl anyway, but maybe . . . maybe if he takes his time about it, he could get somewhere a little closer to how long Anita’d rode his face the last time they'd fucked around or the couple of times Cissie’d told him to just stay under her desk in her dorm through her midday break while she’d done the reading for her afternoon class. 

He wonders if Tim would let him under his desk, if . . .

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2])

I'm glad nicky came up with a cool new tune because according to period movies and shows greensleeves is the only song anyone ever knew

look at that meek little smile, ughhhh. nicky is like two days old and this asshole has already figured out he's the perfect prop for her murder sprees. and these poor women are calling her sister and are willing to help too.

the spell is te accipimus in circulum, we accept you in the circle, and yes that makes me cry a little. we accept you in our community. and the spell is yellow air magic, which sounds like the most empathic kind if Lilia is any indication.

that's interesting, you can't really tell that well from screencaps but go rewatch the scene, this witch is making mushrooms grow with yellow magic instead of green?? is it just a spell (she is holding a book) or have I been getting it all wrong and color has nothing to do with the type of magic one has?

or maybe??? the color depends on the coven you're in?? the salemites all had blue magic for example. and now that I think about it the stone circle is a protection spell but it's not red/orange.

the meaning of this scene is so glaring dear lord. agatha was never going to give these women a chance to prove that yes, there are people out there who could love and help and accept her. she has shut herself up to that possibility a long time ago.

and she stole the soup too. awful.

I've seen all the different theories about nicky needing to feed on witches too, or nicky needing soul sacrifices to survive because he's the son of death etc. we don't have enough evidence to prove anything yet, but personally I headcanon nicky as a totally normal kid, that makes this story even more tragic.

and aww that baby suckling on the little pudgy fist

nicky doesn't look that happy about what he's been asked to do, does he?

we establish that nicky was sickly (maybe he was born with some internal defect that rio temporarily patched up?) we also see him steal the bell agatha will use for her Road scam in the future.

and we meet yet another witch being kind and wanting to help.

agatha: I love this six year old so much I'm gonna make him accessory to murder

dO yOU ShaME YouR MOtHER

and the big fake gasp too. as usual this bitch has conned a whole community

like, she's convinced herself that other witches are bad and are after her WHILE relying on witches's good hearts to con and kill them. what sort of mental gymnastics???

color goes from yellow to purple. nicky waits outside while his mom commits murder, it's not a good look on agatha. completely fucked up, actually.

(I'm terrified that the goat will end up being an agent of mephisto or something idiotic like that, lemme tell you. I hope they're just keeping it for milk and company.)

and here's the million dollar question. nicky has seen his mom kill literally since he was born, and now he's old enough to start realizing what that means.

oooh I know that look, that's agatha when she's put on the spot. she avoids his gaze, she can't be sincere with him.

and of course she's teaching herself spells from a book. nerrrrrrd

nicky, bless his soul, appears to give it a good thought and then offers a practical suggestion. I guess he wouldn't mind to have a roof on his head and some friends too.

GREAT acting from kathryn here. the quick OH SHIT face followed by the super final NO, with her jaw so rigid. in typical agatha fashion, when she's upset she becomes avoidant.

this is evanora's legacy. despite agatha's immense love for nicky, she is passing all that pain down and inflicting it on him.

remember when she called billy a survivor? this is the greatest asset in her opinion, the one she wants to teach her son. the truth is, she is angry at witches because she is scared of them, she's scared of being targeted again. but look at that kid's dark circles, I can't believe she's making him sleep in the woods, sick as he is!

really really fantastic subtlety. agatha wants to sound wise and strong, but she looks scared, uncertain, guilty.

see how nicky looks at agatha while he sings? he's checking to see if she's noticing, because his mom likes music and likes his voice. he's afraid he has upset her and wants to make her smile. he tried to reason with her, and now he tries to soothe her. this is what happens when you have an immature parent, a child will want to help, they will try to fix things. they'll end up parenting their parent, and it should always be the other way round.

agatha takes the bait. she's relieved that the conversation has moved to a safer subject. but oh, this script is so good. this is a mostly innocent, mostly sweet remark, but with a possessive undertone. don't forget that you are mine, she says.

and still, the love is real. even in a fucked up situation like this, these moment of happiness are precious and genuine and will linger on. look at how adoringly nicky looks at his mom, she's literally the sun and center of his small world, and that's how agatha likes it: she created nicky because she needed someone who could be hers without any baggage or consequences. but it turns out that raising a child is not a cheat code for love, it's one of the most difficult, most significant and impactful decisions a human can make.

go to episode 9 part 3

[nemesyaaa]

kxkzkdsls oh in fact I already read your fics in your old account, i just remember while re-reading this and i can't believe i forget about it ?? i feel reader, i've never wanted a threesome so bad. everytime, you write something about sports, like rafe as a players, you have my heart. you write it so good, so perfectly, so accurate and the way your describe the atmosphere, the tension, the physic, it just make me feral !!!🤤🤤 this is so good, as every of your others works. all yours au's are delicious, sending me jolt of pleasure. tysm for your hard works, posting like this everyday. aren't you our sugar momma for spoiling us ?? 🤗‼️

“Literally just said that, dumbass. Maybe if you stop starin’ at my girl’s tits, you could focus. Yeah?” Rafe taunts, shoving his brother away. — no im sorry, and i'm not sorry in fact but i want them both until the end

If Cam was anyone else, he’d gone - erased from this earth for his wandering eye. Rafe, no stranger to roughing up a guy or two on account of you - his brother seemingly the exception. “You’re a fuckin’ dog, buddy.” Cam shrugs and smiles, owning the title as Rafe hooks his finger under your chin. “I don’t blame him. My girl’s perfect,” he whispers before meeting your lips. — « I dont blame him. my girl's perfect » boyfriend material or what ??? 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

”Hmm?“ He chuckles through a throaty laugh. ”S'alright, baby. We share.“ Rafe baffles you with his admittance as he spears his thick cock into your drenched pussy. — « we share » please i dont want to be tired because of life, I want to be tired because both of them fucked me raw :)))

”Pretty sure you know what I want to hear, princess,“ he grunts. "Just tell me you want him. Tell me you want us to share you. Tell me you want his cock and mine, y/n. Let me hear it.” — idk which one is hotter, but i know for sure that my pussy is wet because of them 😋😋😋

"Then cum for me." Cam pulls you in a little closer as you feel yourself about to lose control. Fuck. Am I gonna cum in front of all these people? You look around, the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd off in their own worlds. "Eyes on me? Wanna see your face, princess. Wanna see my brother’s pretty little slut cum on my hand in front of all these people," Cam taunts. — omggg kel ‼️‼️‼️‼️

He leans in, lips brushing against yours. "Our hands.” Ours? You gasp as Rafe grabs you by the waist, plunging two thick fingers between your thighs.  He fucks them into your pussy effortlessly, curling and stroking with precision. — spiraling at the moment....

𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙 – 𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕟 ℝ𝕒𝕗𝕖 𝔽𝕚𝕔

+18 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻 𝓓𝓝𝓘

𝙲𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝙱𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝙱𝚞𝚣𝚣𝙲𝚞𝚝!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝙶𝙵!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

warning: SMUT, language, drinking, name calling, choking, pet names, sharing kink, ownership kink, fingering (from the twins at the same time), unprotected p in v, choking, public sex, rough sex, shower sex

📖 After meeting Rafe's (CurtainBangs!) twin brother Cam (BuzzCut!) for the first time, Rafe gives you a proposal you can't help but accept: sharing you.

Reader's POV:

“Touchdown, Bulldogs!”

The stadium erupts with applause as Rafe gets swallowed up in a team hug. The school fight song blares through the open arena as a massive homecoming crowd clamors to storm the field in celebration. You hang back slightly with the other players’ girlfriends, watching as Rafe shuffles over to an equally massive #2; Cameron scrolled across his back as well. The two of you have only been dating for a few weeks, but you could tell, like quintessential twins, those two were close.

Cam was always Rafe’s second call after you, no matter what, good or bad, and it almost seemed like Cam was two steps ahead. He knew how to calm him down; he always seemed to know what to say. But, then there was the rivalry; Cam knew how to push Rafe’s buttons. What to say to trigger a classic Cameron bitch fit.

Rafe wanted nothing more than to win this game. You could see his chest puffed out a little more than usual, his shit-eating grin a little more sly. Rafe tugs off his helmet, skimming his fingers through his sweaty fringe as his brother removes his helmet as well.

You squint your eyes, stomach fluttering as you take in the difference from all the Instagram and Snapchat images you’ve stalked prior: a fresh buzz cut. Jesus Christ. Rafe pulls him in for a big hug, slapping his shoulder pads.

Your nerves creep in fast, a combination of anxieties about meeting Cam for the first time. I want to impress him. I want him to like me. I want him to think I’m good for Rafe. That’s his twin brother, after all. Sure, I met Ward and Rose, Wheezie and Sarah, and that went great, but this is the big leagues. This is his twin; this is make-or-break.

But, on a separate note, should I be this nervous? I mean, in this way? Seeing Cam gave me butterflies… Maybe it’s ‘cause he looks so much like Rafe? I can’t deny that when he took off his helmet, I felt something. Fuck, I’m in trouble.

“There she is," Rafe groans as he pulls you off your feet and into his strong arms. You cup his sweat-glistened cheeks, kissing him deeply.

"Hi, Rafey," you mumble against his sweet lips.

"How’d I do?" He smiles against your pout, nose nuzzling yours playfully.

"So damn good,” you praise as you scratch your nail into his hair, pulling him closer.

“You look so pretty, baby - love seeing you in my jersey.” Rafe sets you down on your feet, kissing you again before pulling you to his side.

“This her?” Cam pipes in, stealing your attention away.

“Sure is. Cam, y/n; y/n, Cam,” Rafe smiles down at you proudly. You turn your attention to Cam, feeling that same flutter from before, a blush creeps in your cheeks as you see the same look in his eyes that Rafe gave you the first night you met.

“Well, shit,” he rasps as he steps a little closer. Cam takes you off Rafe’s hands, drawing you into his embrace, hugging you before pulling back ever-so-slightly. “Fuck, you’re stunning," he praises.

Cam reaches up, fixing the little "R” pendant on your chest, brushing your clothed cleavage as he sets it in place. Your heart races at the contact between you, banging so loudly you swear Cam can hear it. “Thank you,” you breathe. A grin slides across Cam’s lips; Cam’s smile is stunning, just like your boyfriend’s. But there’s a fire behind it that once again gives you the most delicious deja vu. Cam likes what he sees.

“So…” Rafe teases, head cocked slightly, arms raised, holding open your spot at his side.

“Oh shit. Sorry, Rafey,” Cam snickers as he passes you back to his brother. Rafe wraps his arm around your shoulders, tugging you in, pressing a rough kiss on your hair. Cam’s eyes return to his brother, a smirk spreading on his rosy lips. You look up at Rafe, catching the mirror image.

“Well, this one’s gonna help me with my post-game routine; why don’t you come over in like an hour-” Rafe continues to talk; Cam cocks his eyebrow, seemingly stuck on the first part of the plan for the evening. He smiles sinfully, eyes falling down your body, making you blush as you see his wheels turn. These two talk about everything; your little post-match shower session was most likely a topic of discussion already. 

“We drinkin’ tonight?” Cam drawls.

“Literally just said that, dumbass. Maybe if you stop starin’ at my girl’s tits, you could focus. Yeah?” Rafe taunts, shoving his brother away.

“Not gonna apologize,” he bullies as he wets his plump bottom lip.

If Cam was anyone else, he’d gone - erased from this earth for his wandering eye. Rafe, no stranger to roughing up a guy or two on account of you - his brother seemingly the exception. “You’re a fuckin’ dog, buddy.” Cam shrugs and smiles, owning the title as Rafe hooks his finger under your chin. “I don’t blame him. My girl’s perfect,” he whispers before meeting your lips.

“This is my favorite part of Game Day, baby," Rafe hums as he tears his shirt off his athletic body. You pinch the bottom of your top, drawing it over your naval. ”Lemme,“ he smiles, stripping you of his old jersey before tossing it to the side, lifting you off your feet. Rafe pulls away only briefly to turn on the water, walking with you to the countertop. It’s dim, the perfect amount of light thrown from his open bedroom door. Admittedly, it’s your favorite part of Game Day as well: getting this time with Rafe, the two of you unwinding before a night of drinking, the pair of you coming down from his post-game high together.

Rafe sets you down on the cool top, sending chills up your warm body as his hands quickly get to work. One weaves into the nape of your hair while the other grips the plush of your hip. ”You know I love you,“ he whispers as his rough fingers trace over the top of your thigh, disappearing between your legs.

”Of course, Rafe.“

"M'not sayin’ this to start a fight; m'not callin’ you out for anything. Alright?”

“Okay," you giggle nervously. ”Is everything okay?“

"More than okay," he grins. You let out a little gasp as he runs two fingers through your wetness, lifting them to his lips tasting you. "You have a crush on my brother. Don’t you, sweetheart?" He whispers. Your eyes widen in surprise, lashes fluttering as he calls you out.

"I - Umm… Rafe-”

“I said, 'It’s more than okay, honey," he mumbles as his fingers press through your entrance. ”You don’t believe me?“ Your brows knit in confusion as you stare into his beautiful blues. How could Rafe Cameron be okay with this? I mean, he almost got arrested last weekend for a fight after someone bought me a shot. How is he okay with me having a crush on his brother? 'And, it’s more than okay?’ No way.

"No…" You whisper feebly as your gaze falls to his lips.

A smirk stretches wide, Rafe’s breathing increasing with yours. "No, what, princess?”

“I don’t believe you," you reply before returning your eyes to his. Rafe pouts his lip teasingly, pumping and scissoring his long fingers.

"Alright…" He shrugs, continuing to tease you. You grip Rafe’s thick dick in your hand, rubbing his precum into his swollen tip as he quickens the speed of his hand, thrusting his fingers at an insane pace. ”He’s got a crush on you.“ Your pussy tightens around his digits at the sound of his words, making Rafe smile wickedly. "Baby girl…" He mocks as he moves in even closer, wrapping his muscular arm around your waist. Rafe tucks himself into the crook of your neck as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten.

”M'gonna cum,“ you whine.

”You sure, y/n,“ he whispers against your warm skin. ”I don’t believe you.“ Rafe repeats your words as he slows his pace, edging you; prompting you to grind against his palm, craving a release.

”Rafe…“

”Hmm?“ He chuckles through a throaty laugh. ”S'alright, baby. We share.“ Rafe baffles you with his admittance as he spears his thick cock into your drenched pussy.

”Rafe!“ You wail, mouth hanging open as he circles his hips nice and slow, buried balls deep, letting you adjust to his size. You cling onto his shoulders, nails digging into his tan skin as he stretches you out. Steam swirls all around the two of you, the room burning with vapor and sex as Rafe walks toward the walk-in show, drawing back the glass door. ”This could be a really good night for you,“ he mutters as the stream of water pours from the spout, washing over your naked bodies.

Rafe’s eyes fall down your bare frame, watching as the little rivers of warm water cascade through your dips and curves, glistening over your already dewy skin. His blonde fringe hangs wet on his forehead, framing his beautiful face. You look down as well, eyeing the place where your bodies connect; Rafe’s thick cock sheathed deep. "You share girls?" You whisper. Rafe moans as he presses you back into the icy shower wall, forcing himself as deep as possible, making you exhale a deep breath.

“'Course we do." He starts to pound you into the wall, making you cry out in pleasure.

"And, you want to share me?" You ask, weakly between rough thrusts.

”That not clear?“ He rasps, drawing out of your cunt, whirling you around before bending you over, pounding back into your aching core.

"Fuck!” You sob, feeling him deep in your guts. You take hold of his wrists, his hands steadying your hips, clawing into the fat of your ass. Rafe spreads your cheeks, coaxing his cock in slower as he feels you tighten around him again.

“Bounce for me. Yeah?" He groans, slapping your ass before letting you take control. You throw your bum on his cock; cheeks clapping against Rafe’s wet skin. Your curves recoil with each slap of his tight body against yours, knees buckling, causing Rafe to chuckle darkly as he watches you go weak on his dick. "Please," you whimper, knowing he won’t let you cum until he hears you say it.

”Pretty sure you know what I want to hear, princess,“ he grunts. "Just tell me you want him. Tell me you want us to share you. Tell me you want his cock and mine, y/n. Let me hear it.”

“Rafe.”

He winds up, slapping your thigh harshly, making you scream, voice bouncing off of the shower walls. “I want him. I - I want you to share me. Fuck. I want your cock and his." You squeal Rafe’s name as you gush around his cock; your entire body shaking as he keeps you standing through your climax.

"I want you to beg,” he huffs, tugging your hair, pulling you close, back pressed against his heaving chest, Rafe not letting you come down from your orgasm before he starts working on your next. One arm wraps around your throat in a chokehold, squeezing tightly while the other arm binds around your waist.

“Please.”

“No. Not enough," he sneers, constricting your airway with his biceps. Rafe starts rocking in and out. You can feel every ridge and curve of his cock as he gives it to you, slow and deep, making your eyes roll back. You feel yourself getting lightheaded at the lack of air, but Rafe doesn’t let up his hold. ”Beg.“

Holy shit.

"Please, Rafe. I fucking need it," you pant wearily. ”I want to please you both… I wanna feel you-“ Your voice trails off as you feel your orgasm building again, vision fuzzy, mind muddled like you could fall to the floor.

"Baby? You got awfully quiet. You a'ight?" He growls; a low tone rumbled against your skin.

”I want you both to ruin me!“ You choke out the words. “I’ll do anything for your dick. Please.”

"Mmm… Atta girl.” Rafe pulls out, taking his time with you as he looks down at you lovingly. He guides your chin, lifting your lips to his. Rafe kisses you soft and slow as you try to catch your breath. You look down at his throbbing dick, the creamy ring of your arousal rinsing off his hardened flesh, ready for more.

“You think your brother wants me, Rafey?" You whisper, biting into your bottom lip as you bat your lashes, playing into his game.

”'Course he does. That bastard always wants what’s mine. Lucky for him, we’re brothers… N'I play nice.“ Rafe loops his bicep under your thigh, plunging his cock back in. He rolls his hips deliciously slow, finding that perfect angle that makes tears leak from your eyes. ”Gonna fuck that tight little ass of yours, baby. Fill you up,“ he groans. ”We haven’t done that yet? You ready, f'me? Think you can handle us both?“

You can’t even form words; all thoughts in your mind run wild at the idea of having them. "You’re squeezing me so tight, baby… Think you could cum for me again?" He whispers against your ear, teeth, tugging at your lobe as he draws out, slamming his cock back into your pussy. You let out a cry of pleasure, your cracked sob reverberating off the walls. "Gonna have you creamin’ on our cocks all night. Just a little whore for Cameron cock, aren'tcha?" Rafe throws his hips again and again as the knot in your stomach starts to twist tighter. You pinch your eyes shut, nodding frantically as you feel your orgasm within reach, completely cock-drunk. "Say. It.”

“M'just - Fuck, daddy-”

“M'just what?" He mocks your fucked-out tone.

"A little whore for your cocks. M'just a hole for you, Rafe.”

“Ugh. Yes! Fuck. That’s my girl. That’s it, baby. Cum for me. Yeah? Cum on my cock.”

“Fuck…”

“Cum." Your walls spasm around his cock; waves of your finish crashing down on you again and again as you call out his name. Rafe yours as he floods you with his seed. You can feel his dick twitching inside you, your body milking every last drop of his cum.

Rafe’s forehead falls to your neck in exhaustion. ”Goddamn. I fuckin’ love you, honey,“ he breathes as he kisses his way up your neck. ”Mmm… We’re gonna take real good care of you tonight, baby,“ Rafe moans. You can hear the excitement in his voice, matching your own, but you can’t help but feel a slight apprehension.

What if this ruins what Rafe and I have?

Your demeanor must have changed because Rafe notices instantly. "Talk to me, princess,” he respires as he holds you tight, lips resting on your shoulder as he rocks the two of you lazily.

“I’m a little worried, Rafe. This doesn’t really feel like something you’d do with a girlfriend… Someone you wanna end up with. This seems like something the two of you would do with some random girl - maybe a fling. I wanna be with you… I don’t see us not being together. I’m crazy about you, Rafe,” your voice cracks with emotion, making him expel a soft pity laugh like you have nothing to worry about.

“I’ve got no doubt in my mind that it’ll be us, Y/n. Rafe and y/n…” He pinches the gold "R” he bought you between his fingers. “I’m crazy about you too, baby. You gotta know that. Yeah? Here.” Rafe tugs off his gold Cameron Family ring, gliding it on your thumb instead. “I want you to have this, Y/n.”

“Really?” You gasp.

“'Course. You’re mine. Alright? Tonight doesn’t mean I think anythin’ less of you, or I’m not serious about our relationship. M'so fuckin’ serious, y/n.” Rafe pulls out of your pussy, making you wince; his large palm quickly soothes the ache. Rafe turns you into his chest, wrapping his towering frame in yours. “How could I not be serious about you, baby?” He mumbles warmly against your lips. You look up at him, matching his gaze. ”S'no question who you belong to, honey. Cam knows you’re mine. I had you first. M'gonna have you when he’s gone. Alright? Just let us take care of you like you take care of me. A'ight?“

"Okay, daddy,” you smile as you rest your hands on Rafe’s muscular chest, trying to contain your excitement as you see his ring adorned on your tiny finger. Rafe glances down as well, chuckling to himself as he sees how happy the gesture made you.

“Looks good on you, baby," he croons. "Let’s have a good night. Yeah?”

“Let’s do it.”

You start moving your hips to the music; the bass bumps in your chest. Your friend quickly grabs you by your hips, turning you away from her; you start grinding on her. Your hands drift up your thighs, working back down as you roll your body nice and slow. “Where’s Rafe?” One of your friends screams over the track. You smile and shrug as you continue to move. “You think you could introduce me to Cam?” She wiggles her eyebrows in your direction. No way.

“Sure," you breathe, brushing her off.

Where are they? Tonight has been fun. Cam is every bit as gentlemanly as Rafe. He asked me about school, my major, and my friends, but it was all very "normal��, almost as if that conversation with Rafe in the shower hadn’t happened.

Was he genuinely interested in me like Rafe said he was? Or did he change his mind? You look out into the packed college bar; a deep sea of students grinding and moving to the beat. Your dance partner gives you a sloppy kiss on the cheeks before getting whisked away by her boyfriend, leaving you solo again.

The void is quickly filled as your body is claimed by Rafe, taking you from behind. He presses his chest against your back, rough hands working up your bare thighs, resting on your hips. “You look good, baby girl,” he groans. “This fuckin’ body." His lips meet your neck, kissing and nipping his way to your ear as you grind to the beat. You can feel his rock-hard cock through his jeans, pressed against your ass. His rough fingers move down, drifting lower and lower, making your pulse below. "Bet this pussy’s so wet,” he groans, teeth grazing the shell of your ear.

Rafe applies a little more pressure, pressing his fingers on top of your clothed pussy; rubbing small circles on top. Oh my god. Your body tingles, warmth coursing through your system as you feel little spurs of pleasure between your thighs. You breathe deeply, taking in his cologne, eyes widening when you take in a subtle differences.

This isn’t Rafe.

You look ahead, watching as Rafe lifts his red SOLO cup to his lips, his smirk half-seen as he stares you down. He gives you a flirty nod before tossing back the rest of his gin and tonic. You look down at the large set of hands on your body, seeing his twins matching gold Cameron ring on his finger. Cam’s body is familiar, the shape of him fitting perfectly with yours, but his hold is heavy, touch not as gentle as Rafe’s. His kisses are rough, sending chills up your spine as you rest your hands on top of his, guiding them closer to your sweet spot as Rafe watches on.

Cam’s fingers trace your inner thigh, toying with the soaked lace of your panties. “Y/n…" He moans against your skin. You lean back against him, tipping your chin up in his. Your heart skips a beat when you see Cam’s face, the sight of him making this all that more real. He looks so good, so fucking good; Rafe’s double in every sense of the word, donning a black v-neck instead of a white. His gold chain lays on his chiseled chest, glinting in the laser lights. The only visible difference is his buzzed hair. Cam wets his lip, blue eyes sparkling down on yours.

He pushes your panties to the side, causing you to gasp; Cam quickly claims your lips, stealing your breath. Rafe’s brother teases your entrance with the tip of his rough finger, making you whimper on his lips. He draws his hand away, bending you over. You rest your hands on your knees as you throw your ass back into him. Cam’s grip tightens on your hips, pulling you closer; the two of you fucking clothed.

Rafe pinches his jeans, adjusting himself clearly, loving what he sees. He calls over to the bartender, yelling for his tab, making your heart pick up pace as you see the plan set in motion.

Cam grabs you by your waist, turning you around; pulling you close to his chest. One hand works around the back of your neck, guiding your focus toward his eyes as his other hand continues to massage your clit. You feel a heat building in your belly, lashes fluttering as you look up at him.

"Rafe said you were a good girl, y/n. That true?" He rasps in a voice just a little deeper than Rafe’s.

"I - I’m a good girl," you whimper.

"Then cum for me." Cam pulls you in a little closer as you feel yourself about to lose control. Fuck. Am I gonna cum in front of all these people? You look around, the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd off in their own worlds. "Eyes on me? Wanna see your face, princess. Wanna see my brother’s pretty little slut cum on my hand in front of all these people," Cam taunts. He leans in, lips brushing against yours. "Our hands.” Ours? You gasp as Rafe grabs you by the waist, plunging two thick fingers between your thighs.  He fucks them into your pussy effortlessly, curling and stroking with precision.

“He told you to cum," Rafe warns.

You grit your teeth, gripping onto Rafe’s wrist and Cam’s shirt as your orgasm claims your body. The two boys work you through your release. Cam watches you closely, taking in your beautiful features as you cum for him for the first time. Rafe slips his fingers out of your pussy, sucking the mess clean as he always does. "What do you say, brother? Let’s get our girl outta here. Hmm?”

Part 2

[kaliforniahigh]

birds of a feather, we should stick together - n.s. (part one)

Best friends to lovers, fake dating and best friend Noah <3

Warnings: a mean character, curse words, Noah makes fun of fine line tattoos, lies and reader trying to fit in to the best of her abilities. If I missed something, let me know!

Part 2 is in the works and coming soon!

WC: 4.3k words.

Requests are closed for now / Click here to be added to the permanent tag list <3

To say you were overly excited to meet up with your high school friends would be a total lie. When you told Noah they arranged a lunch date, to remember the good old days, he scoffed, and asked you why you even stayed in the group chat with these people.

Truth is, they weren't all bad. Acually, most of them were pretty nice, It was the Regina George of the group, also known as Jade, who fucked up the vibes.

Jade was a mean girl, and she never understood why you were friends with the awkward emo kid, with the side-swept bangs. This emo kid being your best friend, Noah Sebastian, who was the first person you met when you enrolled in a new school, in the middle of the school year.

It was 6th grade, and you had just moved to Richmond, VA. Your dad was transferred, so you had to find a new home, in a new city.

You and Noah became friends fast, being paired up by your English teacher during reading classes, you talked more than you actually read. He found out, that even though it didn't look like it, you enjoyed the same bands as he did. And that you learned to play acoustic guitar from a pretty young age.

You told him that your dad was in a band during his college years, but, due to adult responsabilities, it became more of a hobby for him than anything else.

Soon, the two of you were inseparable. Walking down school corridors together, him going to your house to do homework, and showing you around the city on the weekends.

You were the one who took school more seriously than him, and you were the one who ended up going to college and getting your Master's degree right after. But he was the one who always took you to watch his band practice, who took you to watch his friends - who were always much older than the two of you - perform.

When you were both 15, Noah told you he was going to drop out of high school. You weren't too happy, because you wouldn't have your best friend with you anymore, but you always knew the time would come, and were surprised he didn't decide to do it much sooner.

And that's how you met Jade and her friends. You weren't popular by any means, but, one day, she approached you and asked you how you styled your hair so nicely, and how she loved your pink tips.

You wanted to tell her that your best friend helped you. When you told Noah you wanted a splash of color in your hair, he went to the store with you to buy the necessary things. He wanted you to do purple, but you settled on pink. You remember him huffing in annoyance, telling you that pink was such a boring color.

At home, he helped you with the back of your head, while you spread the vivid color on the front pieces. It turned out amazing, and you joked that he could be a hair stylist if this band thing didn't work out.

Noah and Jade never really got along. The first day they met, Noah was picking you up from school, waiting for you in the parking lot. You remember Jade making a backhanded remark about his tattoos and the way he dresses, and Noah's face turned sour immediately.

After that, anytime they were in the same vicinity, shady comments were thrown by both of them. Noah always commenting about how the bleach in her hair must've gotten to her brain, and Jade commenting about how Noah was a wannabe rockstar.

Noah asked you many times why you kept her around, instead of dumping her and finding new friends, and you always explained how it wasn't that easy.

This was high school, and everyone already had their group of friends, not really being keen on letting other people in. Besides, without him there, and without the girls, you truly had no one else.

At the end of the day, he understood. Noah himself had a hard time making friends, and to this day, he never understood how someone like you decided to befriend him. He knew how being solitary could ruin your years in high school.

Now, sitting in this overpriced lunch spot they found downtown, you were contemplating your life choices as you tried to eat your Caeser salad without grimacing. All of them ordered fucking salads, and you did the same, not wanting to be the only one ordering chicken parm.

"Girlies", Jade said, wiping her mouth with a napking and setting it back down on her lap. "I know this is a reunion, but I have such good news", she clapped her hands excitedly. Typical Jade, always wanting the attention on her.

Everyone stopped eating to pay attention to what she was saying.

"So, you know how Peter proposed to me last year, right?", everyone nodded yes. "We're getting married in two months!", she exclaimed, reaching inside her Louis Vitton bag and pulling out what seemed to be wedding invitations. "And all of you are invited!"

The girls cheered and started to hug her, you did the same, expressing your happines for your friend.

"It's going to be in the Bahamas, in an all-inclusive resort", she informed, handing out the wedding invitations. Meanwhile, you were wondering with what money you were getting your ass to the Bahamas.

"Peter is paying all the expenses, for everyone, so don't even worry about it", she said, as if reading your thoughts.

Jade got engaged to the kind of person everyone thought she was going to date. Peter was a hot shot plastic surgeon based in LA. You had no doubt he racked up millions of dollars every month just fixing people's faces. Jade herself had something new done everytime you met up.

"What about you, Y/N? Who are you bringing as your plus one?", Emma asked. You guess you zoned out and missed part of the conversation.

"You're bringing your boyfriend, right?", Lily chimed in.

Did they even know if you had a boyfriend or not? You looked around the table, all the girls waiting for your answer. You didn't know what to say. Suddenly, your eyes noticed all of their beautiful engagement rings, and you didn't have the courage to say you were still single.

"Yeah, of course", you answered, hoping you were convincing.

"Uhh, that's amazing! Who is he?", Jade asked, excitment coating her voice.

Shit. Who the fuck would you say is your boyfriend?

"Noah", you said. He was the first person to come to mind, and you didn't hesitate to say his name.

You saw Jade's face twist in a frown.

"You're dating Noah?", she asked, judgment evident in her tone.

"Hmm, yeah, for a while now", you were lying through your teeth at this point.

"Well", she shrugged. "I guess it was always gonna happen anyways", and just like that, the rest of the girls went back to their conversations, while you mulled over what the hell you had just done.

You were already gonna tell Noah to come with you to the wedding the moment she handed out the invitations, which, was going to be a difficult task in itself, since Noah held a grudge against Jade to this day. But you were sure you could convince him with the all-inclusive resort argument.

Now, not only did you have to convince him to go with you, but you had to tell him you told the girls you were dating?

You were already thinking of excuses not to go.

When everyone was finished with their meals, they slowly started to say their goodbyes. You did the same, giving each one of them a kiss on the cheek as you made your way out of the restaurant and to your car.

When you got in, you instantly fished your phone from your purse, dialing Noah's number.

"You need saving from the botox bitch?", Noah answered the phone. You rolled your eyes, but laughed anyway.

"I'm already leaving the restaurant, actually. I was calling to ask if I can come over"

"Since when do you call to ask if you can come over?", he asked, confusion in his voice. He was right, you usually just showed up.

"I don't know? To make sure you're home?"

"You know I'm always home"

"Can I comer over or not?", you asked again, a hint of fake annoyance in your voice.

"Of course you can"

"Then I'll see you in fifteen", you said, hanging up the phone and starting your car.

On the way over to Noah's house, you've been thinking about how you were going to break the news. You still had a little while to think about what you were going to tell him, but, you knew that as soon as he saw your face, he'd know you were hiding something from him.

So, without an actual plan, you decided to tell him today. That way, you wouldn't have to torture youself for days with this information, and you gave him more time to prepare. That is, if he even decided to go.

You trusted your abilities to convince him, though. Noah had a history of doing whatever you wanted just to see you happy, and you never took advantage of that, but desperate times call for for desperate measures. Besides, a vacation to the Bahamas, with all expenses paid, didn't seem all that bad. Even if you had to endure Jade for a few days.

Parking outside, you gave yourself a pep talk before leaving your car and locking it behind you. Using your spare key, you unlocked the front door and made your way inside the living room, announcing your arrival by calling Noah's name.

"I'm right here, what are you yelling for?", he answered from the couch, the PS5 controller in his hands. You just shrugged in answer, and sat next to him.

Grabbing your purse, you pulled out the fancy wedding invitation Jade had handed to you, and set it on the couch beside him and between the two of you. Grabbing it and reading what was written in gold letters, Noah's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Oh, so the queen of botox is getting married to the king of botox?", you gave him a sideways glance, but smiled at his nicknames for the couple. It did suit them, after all.

"Yeah, they are. Jade couldn't help but announce it today", you pointed out.

"Well, are you going?", he asked, setting the invitation back down.

"Hmm. It depends, I guess", you answered, avoiding his eyes and you could tell he already clocked that something is wrong.

"Why?", he asked, a little hesitant.

"Jade said we can bring a plus one"

"Yeah, you usually can at weddings"

"And I was thinking....", you trailed off and looked at him, seeing the exact moment the realization dawned on him, and he immediately started to shake his head.

"There is no way", he said, getting up from the couch and walking over to the kitchen. You got up as well and went after him.

"Why not?", you asked him, a little bit of whining in your voice.

"Are you seriously asking 'why not'?"

"I mean, I know you don't like her, but c'mon, this is gonna be a nice wedding. Besides, it's in the Bahamas, and Peter is paying for everything", you argued.

"Is it's because it's in the Bahamas, I can pay for a vacation for us in the Bahamas, no problem", he crossed his arms against his chest.

"It's not because of that"

"Y/N", he stepped closer towards you. "You know you can just go alone, right?"

"I can't go alone", you huffed in annoyance, because his argument was totally valid, but you did not have that option anymore, all because of your big mouth and will to please everyone.

"Why not?", he asked, confusion etched all over his face.

"Because...", your shoulders slumped as you realized the gravity of your mistake.

"Hey", he grabbed your shoulders, sensing your discomfort. You were never uncomfortable around him, so this behaviour from you scared him a little bit. "You can tell me, what is it?"

"I told them I have a boyfriend", you say, voice low and a little embarassed.

"But you don't have a boyfriend", he observed the obvious, having difficulty in understanding where you were going with this.

"I told them it was you", you looked down towards the floor, fingers going to rub your forehead as you waited for his reaction. The seconds ticked by, and the silence ate you alive.

"You...", he started, but stopped himself in his tracks, head going over what you just told him, to make sure he got it right. "You told them we were dating?", you answered with a head nod, still looking down.

"Y/N", he said your name with a little bit of annoyance lacing his tone. He looked up at the ceiling, as if willing the heavens to give him the strength to deal with you.

"I know, I know", you say, looking up at him. "It was just that they were drilling me about this and I didn't know what to do!"

"Tell them you're not dating anyone?", he deadpanned, and you hated that he kept stating the obvious.

"Yeah, but they already see me as the odd one out, what are they gonna think when I tell them that I'm almost thirty and not dating anyone? They're all engaged, for fucks sake!", you exclaimed and started to pace around the kitchen.

"You worry about what they think of you too much", Noah pointed out. He hated the way you felt like you always had to please them, they way you always thought you had to fit in into their world.

"It's ok, I'll just come up with an excuse so I don't have to go to the wedding", you waved your hand, dismissing this conversation. You were already feeling your head start to throb. You made your way to the couch, grabbing your purse, and the invitation.

Behind you, you hear Noah let out a big breath, before softly calling out your name. You stopped in front of the door and turned around to face him.

"You owe me big fucking time", he pointed a finger at you, and you couldn't help but let a smile dance over your lips.

"You're gonna do this?", you asked, a little doubtful.

"You're doing my laundry for two weeks", he comprimised. "No, three weeks. Fuck it, you're doing my laundry for a whole fucking month"

You cheered at this, not minding it one bit. His laudry was easy since he only had black clothes.

You skipped your way over to him, reaching your arms up and circling them around his neck to pull him into a hug. You couldn't see, but he had a smile on his lips as well.

At this moment, Noah thinks he would do just about anything to keep you happy.

"At least she can't make fun of your hair anymore", you observed, as you parted from him. He groaned in reply.

"Don't fucking push it", he warned you, but there was no real threat to his words.

"Oh!", you snapped your fingers as you remembered an important information about the wedding. "I forgot to tell you something"

"What is it?", he asked, looking at you sideways in suspiscion.

"It's at an all-inclusive resort", you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. "Besides", you continued "Jade's probably gonna invite so many people, we won't even cross paths with her", you observed.

"I hope you're right"

To say you had a lot of time to prepare was a lie. Time flew by incredibly fast, and in between work, choosing a dress and picking up a suit for Noah - who complained endlessly about having to wear it, you argued that he can't wear a black tank top to a wedding, and he huffed and puffed even more - you were only one day away from boarding the plane.

You were going over everything in your suitcase. Another thing Noah was going to complaing about, you can hear his voice in your head asking you why you needed so much stuff. You zipped it up when you decided that obsessively thinking if you forgot anything was not going to make you magically remember something.

You texted Noah that you were ready for him to pick you up. You both decided it was best if you slept over at his house, and he was asking one of the boys to drive you over to the airport for practical reasons.

It wasn't too long before you heard honking outside, signaling Noah's arrival. You took everything you needed, and looked around you to make sure you locked everything up, and when you were satisfied with your quick inspection, you walked over and opened the front door.

Noah was opening the trunk when he saw you.

"Don't say anything", you raised your hand up to stop the words you were sure were going to stumble from his lips. He raised his arms up in surrender and didn't say anything. But, he did make overexaggerated grunting noises as he hauled your bags inside the trunk. You ignored him and went to lock your front door instead.

Getting in the car and driving away, you pulled your phone from your pocket.

"Jade already texted the flight information", you observed.

"At least she's competent", he retorted.

"Imma need you to try and be civil, at least. Remember we're going to enjoy the beach and drinks", you reminded him of what you've been saying for the past weeks. "And you can't call them botox queen and botox king".

"If she doesn't talk shit about my tattoos, we'll be fine", he argued back.

"Her husband has tattoos", you pointed out, as if that makes the situation any better.

"I bet it's some fine line pussy ass tattoo of a lion or some shit like that", he grunted in annoyance, remembering he's gonna have to deal with Jade AND her husband.

"You know what?", you rubbed you chin in thought. "I think it actually is", you pondered, and you both couldn't help but cackle out loud about the fact that he was most likely right about the tattoo.

The rest of the day went on without a hitch. You ordered some food so you didn't get any pans or pots dirty before traveling, and soon, you were both ready for bed, since you were leaving pretty early in the morning to catch your flight.

You were getting comfortable in Noah's left side of the bed, when he came in the room, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, joining you under the covers.

Plugging your phone to charge, you turn to look at him, doing the same.

"Did you set the alarm?", you asked and he hummed a yes. "Did you set it really loud?", he hummed in reply once again.

He knew you got anxious whenever you had to do something important in the morning. You always thought some entity was going to disable the alarms you set on your phone and you wouldn't wake up in time.

"Don't worry, we'll get there with lots of time to spare", he reassured you, and opened his arms so you could lay against his chest.

Sleep found you easily, as it always did whenever you and Noah slept on the same bed. You were used to sleeping in an empty house, since you've been living on your own ever since you moved for college. But to say your sleep was calm and serene was a lie.

With him, you felt safer, like he could protect you from everything and anything. You trusted him more than you trusted anyone else in your life.

Noah, wasn't as tired as you were, and he contemplated how these days were going to go over as he waited for your breath to even out. It was a ritual of sorts whenever you two slept together. He always waited for you to fall asleep first. And, sometimes, when you had difficulty sleeping, he sang some soft tunes, or rubbed your scalp the way he knew you liked, and that always did the trick.

Next time you woke up, was with Noah's shrill alarm ringing on the bedside table. He really did set it really loud, because you were groaning and telling him to turn it off. He woke up with a yawn, disentangling his arm from under your torso to finally quiet the alarm.

Yawning and stretching your limbs all over the bed, you heard Noah chuckle beside you.

"You're like a damn cat, stretching like that", he pointed out, looking at you with a smile on his face.

He always thought you were the most adorable in the morning. Your hair was a little messed up, and your eyes were all tired and fighting sleep. A part of him wished he could just pull you back to rest beside him and resume sleep. But, the trip from hell awaited the two of you.

Getting up from the bed, he announced he was going to brush his teeth and take a shower, meanwhile, you busied yourself gathering all of the suicases and backpacks downstairs.

As soon as Noah left the bathroom, you went in there and did your morning routine as well as you could with your stuff all packed away. Luckily, you kept a few things over at his place for convenience.

Changing into something comfortable for the airport, you made your way downstairs and found Noah dressed in usual sweatpants and hoodie combo.

"Did you grab your sleep mask? I won't lend you mine this time", you told him. Last time, you had to endure a whole flight without your sleep mask, because Noah had forgotten his, and you had no heart to tell him no when he asked to borrow yours.

"Yes, ma'am. I grabbed my sleep mask", he answered. "I already texted Jolly, and he's on his way to pick us up".

"Did you lock everything up?"

"Yep, already checked the entire house while you were showering"

Noah was used to this. You had a ritual everytime you were travelling, and he learned that getting ahead of you was the best thing to do. That way, you wouldn't get stressed with things he didn't do, or forgot.

Right on cue, you heard a horn souding outside, Noah opened the door and was greeted with Jolly waving from inside the car.

"Ok, let's go", you clapped your hands in a "chop chop" motion.

On the way to the airport, Noah and Jolly chatted on the front seat, while you went over the flight details on your phone, making sure everything was in order for check-in. Noah hated airports, so he left you in charge of everything he found boring.

The drive was short, and soon, you were bidding Jolly goodbye at the drop off zone, and you didn't miss the little pat on the back and the "good luck" he wished Noah before getting back in his car and driving away.

Checking-in, you and Noah found a place to sit while he grabbed some breakfast for the two of you. While you sat there, eating and waiting, you were reminded of a very important detail that you forgot to discuss with him.

"Oh, my God! I totally forgot to talk to you about something", you exclaimed, swatting him in the chest to get his attention.

"This is the second time you forgot to tell me something about this wedding trip", he said.

"When they ask us how we got together, what are we gonna tell them?", you ask him. You've been going over all the lies you'd need to tell during this trip, and you realized that you and Noah didn't have a game plan at all.

"That one day, you professed your undying love for me and then we started to date?", he said, as if the answer was obvious, but you could tell he was sprinkling a little bit of sarcasm in there.

"I'm serious, Noah", you huffed, looking at him. "We have to be beliveable, otherwise, they'll catch on, and ruin the whole thing"

"We can just tell them that we realized we wanted to have something more than just a friendship", he suggested, and the idea wasn't so bad. Jade always said you'd end up together from how much time you spend with each other.

"Out of nowhere?"

"No, we've been hiding our feelings, thinking that the other didn't feel the same way, until, one day, I told you I liked you and you told me you liked me too", you rubbed your chin, thinking over his plan. "It's not overcomplicated and if we stick to the same story, we'll be fine", he reassued you. "Besides, Jade is so self-absorbed she'll probably not even ask anything about us at all"

"That's very likely", you agreed with his reasoning. After all, it was Jade's wedding, so the light is gonna be on her, and not on you and Noah.

"What about PDA?", you broached another subject that you've been avoiding.

"If you wanna kiss me, you can just ask, you know?", he teased you, nudging you with his shoulder.

"It's not what I meant, and you know it", you told him, but you weren't able to hide the little blush covering your cheeks, and he noticed too, by the way he was grinning.

"I can hold your hand. I mean, I kind of already do. But let's just go with the flow. You don't have to worry too much about this, it's just a couple of days, after all", he said, and he was right. You and Noah meshed well and were usually in the same wavelength, so there was no reason to think things were going to go south.

You just hoped you had time to relax and enjoy the beach, the drinks and the foods, which, if you knew Jade as well as you did, were going to be impeccable.

Tag list: @concreteangel92 @foliosgirl @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @stardustsirenmelody @miwomens @concretejunglefm @fadingangelwisp @prettygirlrock126 @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @babygirlchuuya @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @lacy1986 @romanreigns-supreme @xmads-omensx @missduffsblog @rumoured-whispers @thisbicc @badomensgoodomens @floatingkiwi @collective-heartbreak @dontwantthemoney @dream-machine-love @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @amelia-acero @kenjipepsi1 @montgomery-929496 @daddy-dierkes-girlie @stardustsirenmelody @cheyyyyr @triedbimsoblu333 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @noyaisasimp @youlookforultraviolet @w0manof-flesh44 @chaoticwineaunt @geminigirlfromfinland @turn-your-life-into-folklore @butterflyeffect07 @zozaline @deardelirium @ferduttini @jilliemiw86 @alylanaeblack @lilcrazy011

[cakesunflower]

lovelorn (and nobody knows) [rafe cameron au fic] chapter 18

Summary: Isla Carrera had planned for the summer before college to be focused on three things: helping out at her family’s restaurant (the helpful daughter), preparing for college (the good student), and having fun with the Pogues (the loyal friend). But one fateful night, where her car breaks down and her rescuer is none other than Rafe Cameron, seems to send her summer down a path she didn’t see coming–one teeming with a secret, illicit romance with the last person she expected. And if her friends and sister found out, Isla isn’t sure they’ll be so understanding, no matter what her feelings are.

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17

A/N: not gonna lie, i wrote & rewrote this chapter a bunch of times and i'm STILL not sure if i fuck with it completely. hopefully it doesn't suck too bad asjkdrnfjk happy reading (maybe)!!!!

For a couple of long seconds, Isla hears nothing but an insistent ringing in her ears. Every other thought eddies out of her head, the only thing running through her mind being oh, no and how the hell did they find out? Oh so slowly, panic begins to bloom in the middle of her chest and gradually spreads out as her gaze flickers between all of her friends, their hardened expressions suddenly making painful, horrible sense.

How did they find out? How did they find out?

Oh, God. She waited too long, didn’t she? Isla should have told them the truth when she had the chance, because no matter how they found out, she can’t deny it. Denying it now means she can never confess the truth without hurting them more, and her brain searches for the words she can’t find. The cardboard straps of the bag in her hand burns on her fingers, heart pounding like a drum.

“Um, how—” Her throat is hoarse, tight. “Where did—”

“Sarah got a picture,” Cleo says, her tone measured as brown eyes meet Isla’s green. “Of you and Rafe. Kissing. Courtesy of Topper.”

Isla’s heart falls to the pit of her stomach, eyes falling shut in a tense combination of disbelief and defeat. Fucking Topper. Anger brews, but it’s overpowered by the nerves that tighten every part of her. She and Rafe hadn’t been careful. Topper must have seen them in the hallway or something after they ran into him. Her heart is racing even as she wishes for it to calm down—as she wishes for Rafe to be here with her.

Oh, this isn’t how she wanted them to find out. God, when she finally felt like she was ready to tell them the truth, Topper fucking Thorton beats her to it and does it in the most uncouth and fucked up way. Maybe their reactions wouldn’t have been positive ones if Isla was the one to tell them, but at least they would have heard it from her and not from someone who is always looking for ways to hurt them in some way. The desire to punch Topper returns tenfold.

“Look,” Isla starts carefully, eyes opening as she looks at them all. “I was—I was going to tell you about us—”

“Us?” Kie repeats, eyes widening under furrowed eyebrows as she gapes at her. Kie’s arms are crossed, the tension rolling off of her in waves, making Isla’s throat work. “You guys are an us? Are you guys in a relationship?” Isla presses her lips together, and it’s an answer enough. Kie’s shoulders rise and fall, her expression akin to horror. “What the fuck, Isla?”

Suddenly, it was like everything Isla had practiced saying to her friends, all of her reasoning and explanation, vanished. She’s caught so off guard that she can’t remember anything that she planned on telling them, and is instead scrambling to find the right words to make this better, somehow. Even when a voice in the back of her head tells her no soothing word of any kind can soften this blow that has rocked all of her friends.

“It was—it sort of just happened,” she says desperately, forcing the words through her tightened throat as she rests the bag of books and flowers down by her feet. Some of them gape at her, some don’t even look at her. Isla’s palms grow clammy. “We kind of kept running into each other and, I don’t know, one thing led to another and—and—” She exhales roughly, her voice a little meek as she says, “He’s really not as bad as you think.”

“Are you kidding me?” Pope snaps, sitting up straight as he narrows his eyes. JJ tenses up. “Are you forgetting the amount of fights we’ve gotten into with him over the years? I’m pretty sure we all know exactly the kind of person he is.”

Isla tries not to flinch at Pope’s harsh tone and harsher words against her boyfriend. “But you guys haven’t noticed that he hasn’t started anything with you for a while now?” Isla tries helplessly, gaze flickering over them. John B’s jaw clenches as he looks away. “I mean, I know you’ve gotten into it with Topper and Kelce, but Rafe hasn’t gotten into it with you, right?”

She knows she’s right, but none of them agree with her. Kie scoffs, shaking her head as the incredulity remains on her face. “I cannot believe you’re defending him right now. He’s an asshole, Isla!”

“Stop calling him that,” Isla snaps before she can help it, but she doesn’t regret defending him, even when Kie pulls back slightly, blinking in surprise. Isla meets her gaze steadily, chest tightening at the betrayal that flashes across her sister’s face. Swallowing, Isla looks at the girl sitting on the couch. “Sarah, come on. He’s your brother.” Sarah’s gaze flickers, meeting Isla’s, and Isla sees the conflict waging war in her friend’s eyes. “I-I know you’ve seen the change in him, too. He’s different now. He’s different with me—”

“How long?” Isla cuts off at the sound of JJ speaking for the first time, her shoulders tensing as she turns her head to the right to look at him. He turns his own head, ever so slightly, to meet her gaze, and Isla’s heart stops. JJ’s blue eyes have never looked so icy. “How long have you two been together?”

Isla’s heart thunders. Her body feels the weight of everyone’s gazes. She looks to the floor ahead of her, her voice a whisper as she answers, “Two months.”

Someone sucks in a sharp breath in the deathly still silence following Isla’s revelation. She lifts her gaze, forcing herself to look at her friends because she isn’t ashamed of her relationship, even if she is worried about their reactions. John B lets out a rough breath, a sardonic chuckle as he drolls, “Wow.”

Isla takes in a breath. “Look, I’m sorry that you guys found out this way—”

“But you’re not sorry about dating Rafe Cameron?” JJ spits out, turning to finally look at her fully, his expression a combination of disbelief, anger, and the same betrayal mirrored on Kie’s face.

Isla steels herself. “No, I’m not. Come on, guys,” she tries, shaking her head. “You know me. You know I’d never be with someone I genuinely thought wasn’t a good person. But I’ve gotten to know him. I know the kind of guy he is—”

“Oh, barf,” Kie cuts her off with a roll of her eyes, and Isla’s teeth press together tightly. “Are you serious?” She leans forward, arms still crossed and gaze locked with Isla’s. “He’s obviously playing you.”

Isla’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Playing me for what?” she asks. “What the hell does he get out of pretending to be a good person just to date me?”

“Not to date you—he just wants to fuck you,” JJ says tightly, his crude words damn near making Isla flinch as she looks at him in hurt. Cleo purses her lips, but Isla doesn’t miss the disapproving look she throws towards JJ, who promptly ignores her as his narrow eyed gaze remains on Isla. “Maybe he’s just getting some kind of twisted revenge, I don’t know, for Sarah becoming one of us. Maybe—” He takes a step towards Isla, eyes hard and unforgiving. “He’s trying to prove once a Kook, always a Kook.”

The tightness in Isla’s chest intensifies to the point of pain, lips parting slightly as she gapes at JJ, a slight crease in her forehead as his words land like a slap. An angry JJ always knows the right words to say that cause the maximum damage, and making Isla feel like an outsider in her own friend group is a sure fire way of making her feel small. Pressure begins to build behind Isla’s eyes, but she forces the tears back, not letting them gather as she lifts her chin in defiance. 

“We all welcomed Sarah with open arms when she and John B started dating,” Isla points out, voice surprisingly steady. She doesn’t want to bring Sarah into this, but she needs to point out their hypocrisy.

“Sarah isn’t Rafe,” John B answers tightly. Next to him, Sarah twists her lips to the side, that confliction still evident in her expression as she looks between Isla and the others. “She’s never thrown a punch at any of us.”

Exasperation and desperation form an ugly combination inside of Isla. “It’s not like you guys are innocent, either!” she exclaims, gesturing to all of the guys. “You guys have started plenty of fights with them for no reason.”

Kie scoffs, leaning back against the wall. “Nice,” she mutters, and Isla’s heart aches fiercely because, God, she had so desperately hoped her sister would be on her side, at least. But she won’t find an ally in Kie, and that fucking hurts.

“What do you want from us, Isla?” Pope asks, frowning up at her. “What’d you expect was going to happen after we found out? Whether we heard it from you or from anyone else?”

“I—” Isla falters breathlessly as she looks at each of their faces. Various degrees of anger, hurt, and disbelief still stare back at her. She knew this wouldn’t be easy, but the tightness in her chest is still uncomfortable. Her voice shakes despite her best efforts as she answers, “I expected you guys to trust me.”

Only Sarah’s expression softens, and maybe Cleo’s, upon hearing Isla’s words. Not the guys’. Not her own sister’s. 

“Trust you?” Kie asks, that disbelieving edge creeping back into her voice. “You’ve been secretly dating Rafe behind our backs for months. You can’t talk about trust when you’re the one who broke ours.”

Isla presses her lips together. Despite her pain, she knows Kie has a point. “I was going to tell you when the time was right,” she informs them. “I just—I wasn’t ready for this before. I knew you’d all react this way so I kept putting it off.”

“You knew we’d react this way because you know how fucked this is,” JJ counters. His eyes narrow in contempt, one corner of his mouth peeling back in a sneer. “Out of all the people on this damn island, you chose him? The Goddamn prince of the Kooks?” he scoffs with a shake of his head.

Isla’s throat works, her jaw clenching. “He’s good to me,” she says quietly but firmly. 

Pope shakes his head, staring at Isla as if she’s lost her mind. “He’s going to screw you over.”

No, he won’t, she wants to argue. But her gaze sweeps over them all one more time, and Isla knows that she hasn’t gotten through to them. Still, she wants to try. She owes it to Rafe and to their relationship. “He cares about me. He looked out for me before we even got together. He—he helped me when my car broke down. And when the cops showed up at the Boneyard party. And Kie, he—” She looks at her sister, whose eyes have sharpened. “He stepped in at the last party, remember? With Topper. He stopped things from escalating even more. Guys, he’s not as bad as you think, okay? A person can change.”

“You’re delusional,” JJ says sharply, and Isla tries not to flinch.

Sarah sits up, frowning slightly at the blonde. “JJ—”

“No,” he cuts her off, facing Isla with a tightened jaw, arms crossed. His cheeks are flushed slightly, angrily. JJ’s gaze is hard, unrelenting, as he says to Isla, “You need to decide; him or us.”

Isla stills—the whole room stills—as she stares at JJ with widening eyes and parted lips. It feels as though no air is going into her lungs as she chokes, “What?”

“It’s pretty fucking simple,” JJ snaps, Isla’s heart picking up its pace too quickly as she gapes at him. He cannot be serious. This can’t be happening. “You’re either with us or with him. But you can’t have both.” He gestures to Sarah. “She doesn’t have a choice because he’s her brother. But you started dating him—” He practically spits those words out, like they’re poison in his mouth. “Knowing the kind of asshole he is.”

“He’s not an asshole!” Isla argues tightly. “Can we just—please—” She helplessly looks at the others, and Isla knows that she hurt them with this, but pain lances through her at the realization that none of them are outright coming to her defense. It’s gotten so out of hand, so fast, and the panic and dread war inside of her. “You guys know me,” she tries again desperately. “I wouldn’t be with him if I thought he was a bad person. Why can’t we just leave the past in the past?”

“You can’t expect us to suddenly be all buddy-buddy with Rafe,” Kie says, frowning. “He’s never given us a reason to—”

“I’m giving you a reason! Right now!” Isla cuts her off, hand pressing to her chest and feeling her heart thunder against her palm. Her skin is warm from anxiety, cheeks probably flushed from the heat that spreads through her. “He’s been nothing but sweet and kind to me. I’m your sister—your best friend,” she adds, looking at each of them. “My word should be enough.”

JJ shrugs. “I don’t really trust liars.”

Isla’s jaw clenches, throat tight. “JJ,” Sarah chastises, her throat working as she looks around the room. “Look, come on, guys. This is getting a little crazy. I mean, Rafe isn’t some—some monster—”

“Of course you’d defend him; he’s your brother,” Pope scoffs with a roll of his eyes. “But he’s never given any of us a reason to think differently of him,” he adds. His gaze meets Isla’s sharply. “And I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can take your word for it.”

A rough breath escapes Isla, defeat creeping through her like an unwanted shiver. Her word isn’t enough? She knew. . . She knew they would react badly, but this? The pressure returns in her eyes and she drops her gaze to the ground, blinking quickly. Her chest is so tight, it makes it difficult to breathe as the hurt burns through her. To know her friends don’t trust her, that they aren’t willing to hear her out and see things from her perspective. . . Her throat dries, unable to swallow the massive lump formed in the middle of it.

She never thought she would feel like such an outsider amongst her friends. Isla knows she’s always had one foot in each life, Pogue and Kook, sometimes more so than Sarah. It had never been a point of contention before. But this has blown up far more than she thought it would. Maybe she was naive in thinking that they could talk and work things out—

No, no, she wasn’t naive. She had trusted in her friends, in the relationship she had with them all. She had thought that their friendship would be important enough for them to want to see and hear her side of things, to accept her relationship that she already had been hesitant in getting into because of her friends’ reactions. But Rafe. . . He makes her happy. So genuinely happy, in a way she’s never experienced before with anyone else. How can she let that go? How can she let any of them go? Is it selfish of her to want both? She didn’t think so at first, but now. . .

“Him or us, Isla,” JJ’s hard voice breaks through her thoughts, forcing Isla to look up at him. His gaze is still sharp but, God, she sees the subtle hope that swims in those blue eyes. Hope that she picks them over Rafe. It tightens her throat even more.

She gives one slow shake of her head, her voice quiet but defiant as she answers, “I’m not choosing.”

JJ’s jaw works, his chin lifting. Disappointment flashes across his eyes, mixed with surprise, but it disappears as quickly as it comes. He wants her to choose them, but Isla can’t do that, not if it means not having Rafe. In the same way, she can’t just choose Rafe but also lose her friends. She wants both—why can’t she have both? Why does she have to choose? What kind of sick ultimatum is this?

Shrugging, JJ says, “You saying that is an answer enough. Don’t come crying back to us when he fucks you over.”

Silence descends and Isla wonders if they can hear her heart pounding in her chest. Her eyes burn, throat locked, and she’s suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to flee. They won’t listen to her—not like this, not when the truth is a fresh wound. “Okay,” she whispers, clearing her throat after as she steps back towards the door. “Obviously, this has gotten a little out of hand.” An understatement. “We can talk again once we’ve all calmed down.”

JJ and Pope scoff at that and Isla tries not to flinch as her gaze meets Kie’s. Her sister stares at her for a brief moment before turning her head, effectively looking away, and Isla swallows as she opens the door. “Okay,” she mutters again before walking down the steps and away from the house. 

Every step she takes away from the Chateau feels heavy, part of Isla wanting to go back and continue the conversation until they’re all on the same page. But hurt blooms through her chest, spreading everywhere else as her nose stings and vision blurs from the onslaught of tears. They way they all talked to her—the tones of their voices and the looks on their faces—was awful. Sure, she and her friends have gotten into arguments in the past, but never like this. They never belittled her before. Never made her feel so small. Her best friends, her own sister, were downright mean, and a breath shudders out of Isla as she quickly wipes away a tear that rolls down her cheek.

“Isla!” She freezes upon Sarah’s voice before turning around, watching as the blonde jogs up to her. Isla sees the paper bag in her hand and bites the inside of her cheek. “You forgot this,” Sarah says, coming to a stop in front of her and holding the bag out.

Isla meets her gaze, sees the way Sarah’s expression softens because no doubt she takes notice of Isla’s red rimmed, glassy eyes. Sarah’s lips turn downwards as Isla takes the bag from her, sniffling because she can’t help it. “Did um—did Rafe buy you the flowers?” Sarah asks haltingly.

Biting her bottom lip, Isla nods. “Yeah, he did,” she answers, unable to help the way the corner of her mouth kicks up slightly.

Some of the unbearable tightness in her chest loosens, just a fraction, when Sarah mirrors the subtle smile. It disappears, though, and her expression falls, a little pleading. “Just give them some time, okay? They’re pretty raw right now. I-I’m sure they’ll come around?”

“You think?” Isla asks. She aims to sound hopeful, but it comes out unconvinced. “Will you?”

Sarah is silent for a beat. “I think what JJ said is unfair. And I think I owe it to you and my brother to not jump to conclusions.” Her hand reaches out, and Isla’s throat works when Sarah takes her hand, squeezing it reassuringly as her soft brown eyes meet Isla’s green. “I’ll talk to them. It’ll be okay, Isla. Just—just give them some time.”

Isla nods a couple of times, appreciative. At least someone is on her side. “What happened in there was fucked up,” she mutters, lips turned downwards. She’s still angry, but right now, she feels more tired than anything else. A little too defeated to focus on the anger.

“It was,” Sarah agrees with a frown. “It went too far. I’ll talk to them.”

“Thanks,” Isla says, squeezing Sarah’s hand.

“Are you—how are you getting home?” Sarah asks.

Isla shrugs. “I’m gonna walk up to the park, I guess. Clear my head a little before heading home.”

Sarah nods, though her forehead creases in worry. Isla is mildly surprised when she pulls her in for a hug, but Isla welcomes it, eyes squeezing shut to keep back the new burn of tears. “I love you. It’ll be okay.”

“I love you, too,” Isla responds, her voice only slightly shaky as she returns the hug and hopes that Sarah is right.

*****

The chain of the swing creaks slowly as Isla sways back and forth gently, her feet scraping against the dirt with every movement. Around her, kids run around and play. In the distance, a group of guys play basketball at the fenced-in court. It’s late afternoon, so the sunlight isn’t so bright, more clouds in view, but Isla’s gaze remains on the ground ahead of her.

You’re either with us or with him. But you can’t have both.

Was she naive to think that she hadn’t expected the ultimatum? Or was it just faith in her friendship with all of them that had her believing that they would be able to talk it out and they would see where she was coming from? Not accept her relationship right away, but it wouldn’t have gone so horribly the way it did.

Now, away from them, Isla no longer holds back the tears that burn her eyes. They roll freely down her cheeks, a breath shuddering out of her as she swipes a hand under her sniffling nose. Her stomach is in knots, tight and painful, as she squeezes her eyes closed to shut out the conversation replaying in her head. 

Her sister, her friends—these people she loves and has spent so much of her life with—called her untrustworthy, had practically insinuated that she was crazy for dating Rafe. Her head is at war, knowing where they are coming from, but also hating how everything went down. Isla could barely stick around to continue the conversation, feeling their words beat her into defeat until she has to retreat to collect her thoughts and wits before even thinking about broaching the subject with them again.

And. . . What? If she doesn’t break up with Rafe, will her friends stop talking to her? Has she really committed that big of a fuck up in their eyes? Why can’t they just see it from her eyes? Listen to her? Doesn’t she deserve that much? One relationship is going to be the cause of destroying a handful of friendships?

“Isla.”

A breath catches in her throat at the sound of Rafe’s voice, lifting her head and blinking away her tear blurred vision to see him standing before her. His expression is tight with concern, forehead creased and blue eyes flickering to look at every inch of her as he lowers himself on his knees, his hands on her legs.

“Baby, what happened?” he asks, squeezing her knees as he looks up at her so earnestly.

But Isla stares at him in mild disbelief, drinking in the sight of him as she asks, “How’d you know I was here?”

He rarely, if ever, comes onto this side of the island. He’s only ever been here for the parties at the Boneyard, or when he’s secretly given her rides to John B’s. “Sarah texted me,” he answers, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “She—She told me you told them and it didn’t go well.”

A sad scoff escapes her, sniffling after as she says, “I think that’s an understatement.”

Rafe’s jaw works and she can tell, easily, that he’s pissed off. But he pushes it aside, his voice softening as he takes her hands. “Come on. Let’s sit,” he says, standing up and pulling her off the swing. One hand remains holding hers, while the other grabs the bag of books and flowers, and Isla lets him lead her away from the swingset and to a spot in the park that doesn’t have too many people around.

He sits down at the base of a tree, giving her hand a gentle tug to get her to join him. She settles down numbly, sniffling as she mutters, “God,” quietly under her breath as she wipes away the errant tears from her cheeks.

The trunk of the tree is wide enough for them to sit side by side, his arm pressed to hers as he grits, “I should’ve been there.”

Isla shakes her head. “It might have just made things worse,” she says sadly.

Rafe loosens a rough breath. “How’d they find out? I didn’t ask Sarah.”

Exhaling slowly through her nose, Isla turns to look at him, her expression tightening. “Topper,” she says, making Rafe rear back. “Apparently he caught us at the hotel. Sent a picture of us to them, and God—” Isla leans her head back, looking up at the deep green leaves of the tree. “This was not how I wanted them to find out. He fucking made things worse than they could’ve been.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Rafe mutters, running his fingers through his head as he shakes his head, no doubt wondering about Topper’s Goddamn audacity. “So what—what did your friends say?” he asks carefully, looking at her with his forehead creasing in worry.

Isla’s throat dries as she thinks of their words again, her muscles tightening with the hurt that is still present—and probably will be for a while. She brings her knees up, arms wrapping around her legs after fixing the skirt of her dress. “They. . . They were pissed,” she starts, exhaling slowly as she stares ahead at a group of kids in the distance climbing around on the play set. “They feel like I-I betrayed them, and JJ, he—”

She cuts herself off, lips pursing to keep her lower lip from trembling. Rafe’s hand comes to rest on her back, his touch warm and comforting as he rubs her back reassuringly. It’s much needed, his hand on her, knowing that he’s right there next to her, right where she needs him. “What’d he say, baby?” Rafe asks gently, even as she hears the edge creep into his voice.

Isla swallows the lump in her throat, nose stinging and tears gathering as she blinks them away rapidly. “He wanted me to choose. Between you and them.”

“He—” Rafe exhales sharply and from her peripheral vision, she sees him shaking his head incredulously. “He gave you an ultimatum? That’s—are you kidding me?”

“I wish I was,” Isla murmurs desolately, eyes falling shut briefly. Some tears escape, but she wipes them away as the hurt remains frozen in the center of her chest, uncomfortable and tight. There are some other things JJ said, too, but she doesn’t want to tell Rafe, knowing it will only piss him off more. Or, worse, make him want to confront her friends.

He just wants to fuck you.

You’re delusional.

I don’t really trust liars.

Each word was a slap, still stinging right in her heart. Isla wipes her cheeks again, an elbow resting on her knee and leaning her cheek against her palm. “I told him I wasn’t choosing,” she continues, shrugging one shoulder. “I don’t want to—I can’t,” she shakes her head before turning it to look at Rafe. He’s looking at her with such concern, touched with helplessness and anger, and Isla’s lips tremble as more tears gather. The emotions of the fight fly to the surface, and in Rafe’s presence, she doesn’t try to push them back.

“I knew they wouldn’t be happy, but it just—it got so fucked, so fast,” she breathes out, her words trembling. “They wouldn’t even hear me out. Whatever I said just—it didn’t seem to matter and—and they’re my best friends. And they just. . . Didn’t want to listen. Even Kie—” Isla inhales deeply, trying to steady her breathing, but now that she’s given permission for the tears to come, they won’t stop. Rafe’s hand slides up, cupping the back of her neck comfortingly. “Kie wasn’t even on my side. But Sarah was.” Rafe takes in a breath at that, looking both surprised and relieved, especially when Isla gives a hint of a smile at that. It was probably the only silver lining in all of that shit show. “She said she’d talk to them and I appreciate it but they were—”

She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head as their words echo in her mind. For a moment, she wonders if she’s being too sensitive, if she should have just expected all of this. Isla is at war with herself, fighting between logic and shattered hope and expectations. “They were what, baby?” Rafe quietly asks, his voice so soft it’s painful.

“They were just mean,” she says with a breathless, hollow laugh. And maybe that’s a childish thing to say, but it feels too accurate at this moment. Her friends can be crude and brash, but never mean. No matter what kind of fights and arguments they’ve had in the past, they never made her feel like this. Her friends have never made her feel so alone. “If I stayed, it just would’ve escalated even more and I just—” She shakes her head with a deep breath. “I had to get out of there.”

Rafe squeezes the back of her neck gently, reassuringly. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he murmurs, frowning as he shakes his head. “Do you—I can talk to them—”

“No,” she cuts him off, straightening. When Rafe purses his lips, unhappy, Isla sighs. “I appreciate it, I really do,” she assures him, sniffling as she puts a hand on his thigh. “But if they’re not going to listen to me, what makes you think they’ll hear you out?” she asks with a sad, knowing smile. “It’s just better to let them be for—”

For how long? Days? Weeks? Is this something they can get over quickly, or will it take time? Isla figures it’s the latter, but the amount of time it’ll take is a mystery. All she can do is hope that they all can come out the other side of this intact.

Rafe lets out a breath, nodding. “What do you need from me?” he asks gently, almost a plea that tightens her chest. There’s an intensity in his eyes and a crease in his forehead that tells her he’s desperate to help, not knowing how, but wanting to nonetheless.

Isla presses her lips together, the corners lifting into a solemn but appreciative smile. “Just need you,” she tells him honestly, watching as his expression softens upon hearing her words before he shifts, winding an arm around her waist, the other going under her knees.

She lets out a breath as he shifts her so she’s sitting sideways on his lap, resting her head against his shoulder as he leans back against the tree and holds her to him, his hand resting on her thigh, fingers against her skin. Isla swipes the back of her hand under her chin when she feels a tear rivulet, throat working. “God, I probably look like a mess,” she mutters, fingers then swiping across her cheeks as she looks up; she definitely has mascara running down her face.

Rafe tilts his head as he moves his hands to cup her face, turning her head to face him. He looks down at her, something flickering across his blue eyes as he no doubt takes in her tear streaked face, his own thumbs swiping along her cheeks. “A beautiful mess,” he corrects, grinning, and Isla knows he both means it and is trying to lighten her mood.

It works, a huff of a laugh escaping her as she rolls her eyes. Shoulders slumping, she says, “I guess we don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

Her tone takes a hopeful lilt as Rafe’s hands lower to rest on the sides of her neck. The late afternoon sun peeks through the leaves, bathing him and a spot of sunlight hits his eyes just right, making his blue eyes glimmer prettily. “You sure you wanna be seen with me?” Rafe smirks teasingly, arching one eyebrow. “I have a bit of a reputation.”

Isla breathes out another laugh, arms sliding around his neck and holding him close, her chest pressing to his. She pushes closer to him, the tip of her nose bumping against his as her gaze drops to his lips briefly. “I don’t scare easily,” she murmurs as they share the same breath.

Rafe’s eyes meet hers, flickering down to her lips before lifting again to lock gazes once more. Isla’s heart stutters as he leans closer and captures her lips with his, feeling a new kind of freedom as she earnestly kisses him back without worry of anyone spotting them—or, more accurately, caring if they do. She sighs into the kiss, muscles finally relaxing in relief at the closeness. Rafe’s hold on her is gentle, his fingers threading into her hair as her lips open under his, his tongue sliding in to dance with hers as he angles her head.

When they pull away moments later, Isla settles back against him, head against his shoulder and forehead tucked along his jaw. “I’m sorry about your friends,” he murmurs.

The remorse evident in his tone makes her heart clench. She knows Rafe isn’t crazy about her friends, but he wants to make the effort because he knows how much they mean to her. Isla had been hoping her friends would show the same thoughtfulness. It’s a lot to wrap their heads around, sure, but the conversation didn’t have to take the kind of turn that it did. And even if they did come around, would Isla be able to forgive them for their words?

She sighs. One problem at a time. “You don’t need to apologize,” she tells him truthfully.

Rafe huffs out a breath. “What I need to do is give Topper a piece of my fucking mind,” he mutters, an edge creeping into his voice. When Isla glances at him, she sees the muscle in his sharp jaw working while feeling him tense against her.

“He’s not worth it,” Isla mumbles, even if she doesn’t entirely agree. She just doesn’t want Rafe getting into a fight, though she has no doubt Rafe can easily take Topper.

“It’s ultimately his fault you were crying, so I’m gonna disagree with you on that,” Rafe says, his arms around her tightening a fraction, like he wants to protect her from her own tears.

Isla lets out a gentle laugh. “Gonna defend my honor, Rafe Cameron?”

He turns his head enough to press his lips to her forehead, Isla’s eyes fluttering shut at the gentle contact. “Damn straight; day and night.”

He holds her close, and she believes him.

[chrattvibe]

nerd!matt | headcannons.

nerd!matt who... is kind of introvert, but if he is in a comfort zone, he will not stop yapping. His best friends are his brothers and then his deskmate and the two guys who sit in front of them.

nerd!matt who... gets along very well with his brothers' friends too. He will even hang out with them if he runs into them on campus during his free time between classes.

nerd!matt who... is always the first to arrive to class. He had a great relationship with the teachers. Of course he's the favorite of all of 'em. You will find him casually chatting with them before class about any questions he might have, or simply wanting to have better information for his notes.

nerd!matt who... is low profile, but has something about his presence that just makes you notice when he walks into the room.

nerd!matt who... has that particular self-confidence. Good posture, firm voice but soft at the same time. If you approach him to talk, he will be so gentle and kind. And if he is in a good mood, he will even make a few jokes here and there.

Nerd!matt who... is always willing to lend his notes if someone misses a few days of class in a row.

"Hey matt..." you said, approaching his desk when his deskmate got up to go to the teacher's desk.

"Oh, hi! How you doin'? I heard you were sick, are you better?" he said, looking up from his notebook to meet your gaze, adjusting his pen on his ear to lean back on his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah... I'm better, thanks." you said, feeling slightly flattered by his interest. "So, um... I was wonder if... I could borrow your notes from yesterday's class."

"Of course! Just the ones from yesterday? You haven't been here for like, three days." he said searching through his notebook. "Here, the ones from Tuesday and Wednesday are also there." he said extending a small stack of paper. "Or I could send 'em to you by photos to your number... only if that works better for you."

Nerd!matt who... is super smart, of course. He knows a lot about a lot of things. Ask him about any topic you want. Music, math, sports, biology, arts, movies, whatever you want to talk about. He will be able to hold a good conversation. And even if he doesn't know much about the topic, he will listen to you attentively and then do his own research on it so he can tell you his point of view next time.

"Saw the movie." he said, after tapping twice on your desk with his finger to get your attention. "It wasn't that bad." He said as he slowly walked towards his desk, which was just a few rows behind yours.

"Did you actually watch it?" You said, frowning, remembering the conversation you two had a few days ago about this movie.

"C'mon..." He said, tilting his head slightly with a little smirk, settling into his seat. Almost in a tone of obviousness. "We need to talk at recess."

Masterlist !

Notes: HELLOO. This is my first time writing something like this, so let me know if you like it. I don't know how often I'll do this (probably not so often), but I think I liked it. :) See ya.

—Chrattvibe.

[starsenha]

[10] FIRST IMPRESSIONS - progress

synopsis: riki was a big fan of your group Devilish, but when he met you for the first time, he made a very bad first impression and now you hated him. rumors started to spark saying how you hated each other and to calm the rumors, the company decided to make you two hosts a variety show together for two months. wc: 1,3k

The third episode of the variety show had been the longest filming day yet, and honestly, you couldn't take it anymore. You and Riki had spent hours interviewing Meovv, a newly debuted girl group that came to promote their first comeback. The group's members were bright and bubbly, but their energy exhausted you, as well ad the fake smile you had plastered on your face.

You sat across from them, maintaining your polite and attentive demeanor. Riki was also struggling with their energy. As soon as the director yelled, "That's a wrap," you stood, thanked the staff and the Meovv members with a small bow, and quietly slipped out of the studio. Riki noticed but decided not to say anything, choosing to stay back and what with some of the crew.

Behind the studio, you found a quiet corner surrounded by tall trees where you could feel the cool evening air. Sighing, you leaned against the wall, your head tilted back as you closed your eyes. You loved what you did, but sometimes, it took just too much energy.

About ten minutes later, you heard footsteps. Opening your eyes, you found Riki standing a few feet away, hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets.

"Figured I'd find you here," he said causally.

"You followed me?" you raised an eyebrow.

"Followed is a strong word. I just....guessed," he said with a sheepish grin. "You looked like you needed a break."

You turned your gaze back to the darkening sky. "It's been a long day."

He leaned against the wall next to you but was careful to give you space. "Yeah, those girls have endless energy. I don't know how they do it."

"They're probably running on adrenaline," you said, your tone soft. "They're still new. Everything's exciting for them."

Riki nodded. "True. But I don't think I've ever been that energetic, even when I debuted."

That earned a small huff of amusement from you, which surprised Riki, but he decided not to comment on it and thought it was the moment.

"Can...Can we talk for a bit?" he asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

You sighed a bit, "Sure, sunbaenim."

He winced at the formality but didn't comment on it. Instead, he took a step closer. "I just...wanted to talk. About, uh, stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, like..." he scratched the back of his neck, clearly struggling to find the right words. "Like how you probably don't like me very much."

You didn't respond immediately. "I wouldn't say that, sunbaenim. I respect you as an artist and as my senior."

"Okay, but like," Riki said, his voice almost pleading, "you definitely don't like me. And i get why. I've been...kind of a disaster." You didn't deny it, which made Riki laugh quietly. “But, uh, I think part of the reason you don’t like me goes back to that first time we met. At the music show.”

Your eyes narrowed slightly, but your tone remained neutral. "What about it?"

"You remember, right?" Riki asked, glancing at you. "It was, like, two years ago. Your group had just debuted."

You nodded slowly, your gaze turning to the dark sky. "You told me I was an 'okay' dancer." Your voice was calm, almost sounding unbothered.

He winced at your words. "Yeah. That. I...I didn't mean it like that," he said quickly, his words stumbling over each other. "I swear. I dodn't think you were just 'okay'. I thought you were amazing. I just-"

“Then why did you say it?” you interrupted, your tone sharper now. “If you thought I was amazing, why didn’t you say that?”

Riki ran a hand through his hair, his nervous energy making him shift again. “Because I was nervous! Like, really nervous. I was a fan, and I was so freaked out about meeting you that I just… messed it up. I didn’t know how to act, so I said something stupid.”

You turned to face him fully, your arms still crossed. “You were nervous?”

“Yes!” Riki said, nodding emphatically. “I mean, you were—are—this incredible dancer, and I didn’t want to sound like I was just fanboying. I wanted to look cool, but instead of being cool, I made it worse and came off as a jerk.”

You stared at him for a moment, your expression softening ever so slightly. “So, you didn’t mean it?”

“Not even a little bit,” Riki admitted. “You’re one of the most talented dancers I’ve ever seen, and I’ve thought that since day one. I just… suck at expressing myself sometimes.”

You were silent for a moment, your gaze searching his face for any sign of insincerity. When you finally spoke, your tone was quieter. “Why are you telling me this now, sunbaenim?”

“Because we’re stuck working together for seven weeks,” Riki said with a small, self-deprecating laugh. “And I don’t want you to hate me the whole time. I’d like for us to at least get along. Or, you know, tolerate each other.”

“Thank you for explaining,” You said finally, your tone softer but still measured. “I… appreciate the clarification.”

“You’re welcome,” Riki replied, grinning slightly. “Does this mean I’ve earned a little less of the death glare on set?”

You raised an eyebrow, but there was a glint of amusement in your eyes. “Don’t push your luck.”

Riki chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Noted. But, seriously, I’m glad we talked. I was starting to think you had me on some kind of blacklist.”

You tilted your head slightly, pretending to think. “I wouldn’t call it a blacklist. More like… a warning list.”

“Wow,” Riki said, clutching his chest dramatically. “And here I thought I was climbing my way into your good graces.”

“You’re at the bottom of the list,” You replied coolly, though your lips twitched as if suppressing a smile.

Riki leaned back against the wall, looking up at the sky. “You know, this reminds me of something.”

“What?” You asked, curious despite yourself.

“Well,” he began, a mischievous grin forming, “it’s like one of those rom-coms where the leads start off hating each other, but then they end up being best friends—or more.”

You stared at him, your expression deadpan. “This isn’t a rom-com, Riki-sunbae.”

“Riki,” he corrected, glancing at her hopefully. “Just Riki.”

You didn’t respond immediately, and he continued, trying to break the silence. “Besides, if this were a rom-com, I’d have some dramatic rain scene to win you over, and I left my umbrella at home.”

You blinked at him for a moment, and then, to both your surprise, you laughed. It wasn’t just a small chuckle but a genuine laugh that lit up your face for a brief moment.

Riki froze, his eyes wide as he stared at you. “Wait… did you just laugh? Like, actually laugh?”

Your laughter trailed off, and you looked almost as surprised as he did. “What? No. That wasn’t—”

“No, no, you totally laughed,” Riki said, pointing at you triumphantly. “I made Yn laugh. Someone call Dispatch. This is breaking news.”

You rolled her eyes, but the corner of your mouth twitched upward again. “Don’t let it go to your head, Riki.”

“Hey, you called me Riki. No ‘sunbaenim.’ Progress!”

You blinked, realizing your slip. “It was a momentary lapse. Don’t get used to it.”

“Too late,” Riki said, beaming. “You’ve already made my day.”

You sighed but didn’t correct yourself, your tone more teasing than annoyed. “You’re so easily pleased.”

“Only when it comes to you,” Riki replied, his tone light but sincere.

You glanced at him, your expression softening for just a moment before you pushed off the wall. “We should head back. It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Riki said, following you but unable to hide the triumphant grin on his face. “Just don’t trip on the way. I’m not catching you again today.”

You gave him a side-eye that was more amused than annoyed. “You’re really pushing it.”

“Maybe,” Riki said, walking beside you. “But I think I’m finally getting somewhere.”

previous / m.list / next

TAGLIST: @pkjay @d-dilemma @heartheejake @lunaritex @dreeki @inishij @rikirritated @whoiss4m @sleepyxxhead @aanniikkaa @right-person-wrong-time @aespaqq @starry-eyed-bimbo @nerdywitchcrown @yuniesluv @lovestruck-sky @ariluvssssss100 @rei4sunoo @wildtigerlili @jakef3ver @seungminsapuppy @kittsnewera @regalfox @rairaiblog @pairinnn

[plaguedoctormemes]

I went to a bar the other night to meet a bunch of local neurodivergent queers to branch out a bit and ngl everyone on the internet that has ever talked about how toxic or bad or hypersexual “queer bar spaces” are or can be has confirmed, in my mind, that they absolutely never been to a queer bar or any kind of self-constructed queer safe space IRL

Like I just had a great time putting myself (and my partner) out there and genuinely throwing myself into conversation with a bunch of strangers. Like 2 people showed up wearing anything remotely “sexual” (if you think collars and shiny tall kink boots alone are ‘sexual’) and everyone was extremely respectful and patient, granted it was advertised from the get-go as a neurodivergent queer meetup. We all have a shared group chat now that we’ve been chatting on since the night of the meetup.

And a few weeks ago before this after watching a film at the local indie theatre my partner and I just wanted a drink and quick bite before going home so we went to another local tiny queer bar downtown and it just happened to be karaoke night and it was nothing but good vibes. A cute gay boy with a mustache sang Last Christmas and thanked me and my partner for singing along and helping him remember the tune/notes when he got nervous. A beautiful disabled person with a cane sang a few showtunes, we politely checked out a few other really hot nonbinary folks. There was no judgement and it was just fun goofin’ around.

By the way, both bars that we went to had amazing drinks and delicious mocktails/nonalcoholic options for people that didnt want to drink.

Like, man… I will never forgive the online losers that waste so much time every pride complaining and bitching about safe spaces and the legitimacy of queer bars as a safe space and painting them as just highly sexualized and cliquey clubs. I just talked to a bunch of autistic queers about baldur’s gate 3 and ginkgo leafs for half an hour in the corner for fuck’s sake lmao

[theweirdwideweb]

Can we have more film club updates? That was amazing and I’m proud of you!!!!

Well you remember how my friend was also at film club? She and I hung out on Christmas Day. We went to my sister's house for lunch. We played with my niece, nephew, and mother in a tent and then went to Nosferatu. My friend has been closer to the film club asshat than I have and asked if I wanted to see his text to her about The Incident, but warned me it was bad. Since nothing he said to my face about mental illness upset me because duh, not a shred of truth to it--- actually what he said about me in the text upset me. He tried to convince my friend that I was venting narcissistic rage at him the entire 45 minutes before he ran his mouth off and I stormed out. He said I am, in fact, a toxic narcissist who is in active addiction, not recovery, and I'm trying to lure my friend into a codependent relationship. It got to me. Such a reality warping piece of gaslighting. I had therapy today and talked about it. It triggered a lot of trauma. The doctor and I talked about how my mother would mercilessly abuse me as a child and then when I was angry or upset she'd accuse me of bullying and abusing her. We also talked about how the man I was in love with all my 20s would come sleep in my bed 3 nights a week, hold me, give me shoulder massages, fuck me and then act like I should just know better when I wanted to be his girl. For 8 years he led me on that way and then beat the shit out of me. I talked with the doctor about how in my early 20s in the recession when the unemployment rate for my demographic was over 50% I had a small job filling bottles with supplements for $9/hr and how the gagillionaire CEO dressed me down within 30 seconds of meeting me: told me I was fat, depressed, and obviously hadn't gotten laid recently. When I said that wasn't true he said, "Well it wasn't as good as you wanted it to be, was it?" We talked about how I was minding my business on the train home from work just after Christmas 2019 when a completely random woman pepper sprayed me in the face and just stepped off the train. I possess a deep fear that somehow I am marked out for cruelty. Greg, the film club asshat, tipped his hand by calling me a narcissist. He's a narcissist. He's the one who doesn't give a damn about people and tries to warp reality so he appears a victim. Even though I knew it wasn't true when I got home from Nosferatu I was taking internet tests to see if I have empathy, signs you're a narcissist, googling "what is active addiction." Am I hurting people and I don't realize it? When I think people think I'm smart and funny am I just being completely delusional? Am I making a fool of myself? No, I'm not any of those things. But it hurt me because I just have this sense that there's something wrong with me. Something that repulses people, makes them hate me. Even strangers can pick me out of a crowd. Is it because I'm ugly? Is it because I move my body strange? Is it because they read neurodivergence on me? It feels like my fault. I've always felt that way. Like if I could just fix myself and be good enough that I could stop the abuse and have friends and hobbies and a safe place for myself. I've never been safe in my whole life and it gets to me. It's like how I feel trapped by mental illness. I try as hard as I can and it will never leave me. It's as if I'm in an abusive relationship with life itself. I was marked out at birth by my abusive parents and biology. I can take comfort that I'm a better person than all these abusers---but I still lose. I lost that job filling bottles. I lost the love of my youth. Now I lost the film club, too, something which I felt proud of. I said, "See? I can go out into the city and find friends. When I talk to people they see I'm smart and funny and they like me."

[ready-to-read7]

Prompt #2

this prompt is something I really enjoyed writing, I really like the concept of wonder woman/Diana being a mother figure to Danny and I also really like the prompts were Danny along with Dan or dani/Ellie are de-aged ( also you can decide if Danny is the ghost King or  not but I think he would be at this point)

so in this situation a bad Fenton parents story where Dan, Danny and Ellie/ dani are badly injured and clockwork wanting to save all three of them  would de-age them and ellie /dani  is a few months old, Danny is  two years old and Dan would be around five years old,  and clockwork  wants to give them  a responsible mortal Guardian and will for some reason, goes to  Pandora and will ask her if she can think of any strong independent women to give the de-aged King along with his siblings/clones to and Pandora would be like yes because she is a dead Amazonian and would think wonder woman/Diana is the perfect choice for this

she would then contact Diana (I would say through her dreams but you can decide how)  and would  ask her to go back to Themyscira so that she can ask her a favour, when Diana reaches home she goes to one of the beaches where a  portal opens up to reveal Pandora is holding a de-aged Danny, Dan and dani/ ellie and would ask her if she would be willing to be a mother to these three, explaining to her without giving too much information that these are three powerful young beings that need a strong and stable figure to raise them and Pandora would also elaborate that two (or only one of them if you decide to make Danny trans )  is  male but she still wants the members of the Amazonian’s to treat him/them with respect, Diana’s mother would be close by listening and Diana would agree to raise the  three little ones asking for their names and anything important she needs to know, Diana’s mother would agree with her daughter’s choice and would inshore  Pandora that they will not discriminate against Dan and danny ( if you don’t go with the trance Danny thing) just because they are boys, if they are raised by Amazonian’s they are just as much a Amazonian as any other, Pandora would be relieved and would continue explaining that as they get older they will develop abilities that will be hard for them to control at first but with practice they can control them easily, she would also tell Diana that it would be in the best interest of the children if no one found out that they were actually powerful beings and it would be much safer for them if people believe that they are her biological children and Diana would agree.

 So Diana and her people would come up with a story explaining that the three children were being raised on Themyscira for their own safety since Dan and Danny or just  dan is the first male Amazonians so they needed a bit more protection for the first few years of their lives, (just know I did not research anything about the Amazonian’s so if any of the information is wrong I apologize also technically they wanted to do it in a way so the they are  not lying so keeping the children on the island for a year before they introduce them to the rest of the world is their way of bending the truth )  and Diana would then move back to Themyscira for  a small bit to sell the story along with being able to get to know her new children

 One year later Diana decides that it’s about time she takes her children out to the world of man, and she would decide to introduce her children to the Justice league on bring your sidekick/children to Work day (do remember she had not told anyone about her kids mostly because it never was brought up and no one asked  if she had kids so she  was technically not keeping it a secret) so she would get to the watchtower early and would sit in the meeting room with her kids, and somehow no one saw her walk in and go to the meeting room (yes she was announced on the coms  but there were not many people in the watchtower at the time so no one really noticed or paid attention)

She would sit in the meeting room as she listened into the coms as heroes and their children/sidekicks started coming to the watchtower she would then place dani/ Ellie down and would tell her brothers to watch her as she went to go fetch snacks for them, Dani and Dan would end up getting into an argument and dani / ellie being the little Explorer she is would wander off,

She would crawl into the main room where all the children and sidekicks of heroes were running around playing and talking as the adults were talking with each other and as she was crawling around someone tripped over her I would say one of the Robbins or one of the speedsters and because of her much greater resilience she wouldn’t get hurt but she would get startled and started crying which would alert all the adults and children who would wonder why there was a one-year-old in the watchtower and whose child was it, due to her black hair and blue eyes people would immediately assume she’s either Superman’s or Batman’s but both of them will deny this while Batman is holding her trying to get her to calm down, then Dan and Danny would run in calling  her name and Superman would ask them if this was there little sister they would say yes and  he would ask who their parent is and before they can respond wonder woman would run in with a speed that is quite frightening and would yell out to Danny and Dan ask them why they weren’t watching their sister and why did they leave the meeting room and everyone would then realize that the children were Diana’s and many of them were utterly confused

(I hope this kinda makes sense of what I’m trying to get across I just love seeing Diana as a mom it just feels right because she would be like the perfect mother)

[ahappydnp]

philm club rewatch #1

phil 7/21/12

detailed timestamp notes below the cut but my overall summary thoughts are

you could tell phil was still getting into the groove of liveshows so it's a little awkward and slow going in the first 15 minutes are so with lots of shoutouts and showing the camera random things. liveshows got sooo much better after just a year or so it's fascinating to watch them getting comfortable

mind boggling to think back to a time they were willing to show up to fan meetups and then made a point to state publicly why they weren't there AND share their location so openly constantly (obviously they were about to move but STILL they showed the outside of their flat So Much back then)

the juxtaposition of how naturally comfortable they were with each other (stealing hats, sharing food, having their little jokes and songs) vs. them remembering the chat and having to recalibrate (i don't want to procreate with you)

i'm gonna be sooooo real i still spent the entire hour kicking my legs and twirling my hair and having to pause to compose myself because that's my phil like that was my guy and it brought back all those giddy feelings :3

i love them both so dearly and i love that era despite the bad rep it gets in fandom now because it was also so exciting and new but they were growing up together and taking on the world like 2012 WAS dnp vs. the world and dnp won <3333

0:28- agrees to marry a girl and a boy

1:38- final broadcast from manchester!! moving to london

2:40- stressed bc logistics for moving (he’s trying to be a grown up). interesting that he is taking the reigns on coordinating and not dan 

6:27- PIGEON NOISE MY BELOVED

8:50- phil refers to processed ingredients as “skanky stuff”. sure. 

11:59- he's gonna put lion in his backpack during the move 😭😭 he doesn’t want to lose him

15:01- dan jumpscare popping into defending phil for not showing up to a meet up 

16:21- dan gives him an A star….girl

21:30- american phil i haaaaate it i hate it i hate it

21:57- “everyone just says awkward for everything now” okay this but now everyone says “help??” in the replies of every tweet WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

22:35- cornelia playing harpsichord at phil’s parents 

24:42- phil attempts a guest broadcast with a fan and he’s being so cute despite the horrors

28:42- they’re going to see muse again 😭😭 

30ish- fanfiction segment i love his brain

33:55- dan gets caught playing gw2 and not packing asdfghjl. omg their apartment is a mess they stress me out 

34:39- the way they used to show off their exact locations was truly a time like girl internet safety!!

35:21- he still wants to call his children jack and emily (cuts quickly to mo and slyvester lester joke and i won’t think too hard about what that means with this also being the era of dan being SO deadset on having 2 or 3 children like god they were just babies with dreams)

37:14- phil thinks max the guest is australian and has The Biggest Grin phil you slag ilysm and now he’s promoting him hard lmao

39:57- drawing game. he went too fast i couldn’t keep up so i stopped. unfortunate slur from the chat. 

44:38- had to check his tumblr archive to see the kstew gif he mentioned and found a mv a fan did of the manchester flat to i will always love you phil reblogged (phannies never change)

45:27- sneak peak of the “new” apartment WHAT IF I SOBBED!!!! the first london flat…god they had no idea what’s coming and all the things that will happen in that house ;___; living with danisnotonfire who is through that wall and Not Packing (married babies)

46:24- NEW I LOVE YOU FOR THE ILY SPREASHEET FUCK YEAH!!!

46:41- he’s getting a bit annoyed at the go get dan comments and it’s such a specific shift in vibes which makes sense because this was younow and god knows what that chat was also saying 

48:57- omg it’s danisnotonfire! what are you doing here get out of my house (you’re the same person dot gif) also sooo funny they already had their sides™️

50:36- that iconic dan hair push up and swoop is simultaneously the most comforting/nostalgic and single most anxiety inducing motion of all time

52ish- they’re sooo low energy in this one but it’s still comforting 

53:35- these two…

57:52- phil putting things on dans head because of course he does and taking dans thing because of course he does

58:00- i am not immune to phil in the trapper hat. 

58:24- them seeing all the screenshots and immediately making jokes (fun little note for those who don’t know is younow would have a pop up everytime someone took a snapshot so they knew every time they were being archived which had to have been a specific kind of hell and also what a shit feature??) their skin molecules are touching 

1:01:48- quite possibly the single most controversial shirt dan has ever owned. people haaaatedddd it for years (now im just soft bc its nostalgic)

1:04:06- dan and alexander mcqueen 4ever truly lmao also phil immediately having an opinion on the one he liked dan in better 

1:04:44- "dan played it on repeat all yesterday" “whenever i get sad i listen to it” :(( dan

1:05:15- dans fashion opinions haven’t changed and also the start of them being So conscious of revealing what they spend their money on because fans “didn’t like” when they spent a lot of money on things

1:05:46- we made it an hour before they read a gay comment but he’s handling it better than usual. phil saying “ don’t go there”

1:08:05- dan is STILL yapping about the hat god i love him he simply must elucidate 

1:09:29- aweeee a fanboy <333 he’s their love child (except dan reminds phil they’re not down to procreate with each other)

1:10:24- i love that phil has always thrown a random question at people to ease the tension like it’s suuuch a phil thing to ask what your worst fear is when you’re feeling awkward 

[roxanne193018]

A part 3 of Lucifer’s implied (?) yandere stuffs ( i guess it’s not so implied anymore)

⚠️

Warning: spoilers Christmas event story and Lucifer (blow)

Here he is, yapping about his brothers again (not that I complain tho)

This dude. Everyone says he talks very little that Paradise Lost gang even blushed at his words every time he speaks bc apparently he rarely speaks. But bro is a YAPPER. A huge YAPPER when it comes to MC. (Like how most of us just yap all things to our love) from background conversations, to chats, to stories, if one sentence was enough to make the PL gang blush, then with the amount he says to MC, PL gang would orgasm till they faint.

Also, when MC said “oh, you are busy, why bother texting me?” He was like

“??Bc I’m a doctor, and I often check up on my patients,

But also bc I like you.

Gamigin almost form lifelong friendship with his patients! We doctors are dedicated…I am not that dedicated tho,

But I also have to check on you bc you are important to me.

I can ask everyone instead to know if you’re ill or not,

But I want to ask you directly tho.

Everyone is interested in you, ao I can ask everyone about you

But I’m also interested in you”

… very roundabout way of saying I am literally loving you, and you are important to me, and why are you pretending not to see it? Conflicting ahh birb

… notice him guys.

.

In the story, he actually keeps his “doctor profession”, by not touching his patient, (believe it or not). He wants to lick MC’s tears so bad, wants to be nice to her, wants to cherish it as lovers’ s*xy time and not a type of treatment, but he couldn’t bc everything he did then was to cure MC. So, he refrained himself from licking MC’s tears and kissing MC’s face. Meh, weird way for a doctors’ safe distance from patient, but that’ll do ig…

Again, he losts it at every card when MC said she likes doing this with him. Their relationship, feels kinda like situasionship smh haha. Both kept their cools, but loses their shjt when the other do lovers’ things to them.

He caters to MC’s liking to cure her, but in the end, he himself can’t keep his words of “not touching the patient”, and still kisses MC. As MC no longer has Christmas cold, she still clings to Lucifer for sexy time lol, bc it’s rare to spend time with him, and he knows, he thinks the same and doesn’t do allat doctor patient game anymo, just lovers’ stuffs from then on lmao.

Shows how MC makes him always loses his shjt, and he admits it fr 🤣

And finally, I still save the best for last.

So for context: he is texting MC to ask like “what type of magical possay you got, that this toy still have your love liquid on it after DAYS?”

… well look at that, you hypocrite lil shjt. I remember SOMEONE told Belphegor that him keeping the blanket that him and MC rolled on is unhygienic. And now you kept that toy UNWASHED on your office table for days, in the room that bans everyone from entering. If he washed it, he wouldn’t ask MC why it was still wet bc it would be cleanly dried long ago.

“At first, it vibrated with your smell” okay.. you kept that thing to occasionally sniff MC out? On God… like I said. He might be crazy like Asmo.

Next, he was FURIOUS, when he noticed that the candy cane reeks of other devils’ smells. (Apparently the Paradise Lost gang has used that to m*st*rb*t* lol) bc 1, he places it privately in his own office, a place no one dares to enter, and now they are doing IT in his no no office zone, and 2, it no longer entirely smells like MC, so he just decides to lock the entire PL gang up to punish 🤣🤣 and won’t let MC meet them for a good while. (Jealous boi)

Another thing I am wondering is that, it is canon that he gets hard every time he bumps into/ remembers/ sees MC (MC-sexual lol). The inclusion of the MC smelled candy cane in his office? Yeah… it will DEFINITELY make that man go absolute FERAL.

.

.

I realized how I over analyzing everything when it comes to Luci lmao. Probably mostly bc he has IMPLIED shjjj compared to Leviathan, who just literally smacks the heck outta MC if she makes him jealous, much easier to see.

[familiarscars]

Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 25

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

Los Angeles, December 24, 2021.

You stumbled on the last step before reaching the door, planting your feet firmly on the ground to avoid falling. The morning air felt heavy, hard to draw into your lungs, as your hands trembled searching for the keys in your pocket. Your disheveled hair clung to your damp face, and you brushed it aside with a brusque, almost irritated motion at the mere touch.

When you finally pushed the door open, it creaked, the sound echoing through the silent house like a scream. Your eyes took a second to adjust to the dimness, but then you saw him. Noah was sitting on the living room floor, shoulders slumped and head slightly tilted to the side, as if he had been waiting for you for a long time.

Papers were scattered around him, a pen lying near his hand. He looked up, and his eyes bore the weight of a sleepless night, dark shadows etched beneath them. His expression was a mixture of exhaustion and something else you didn’t want to decipher at that moment.

"Where were you?" His voice cut through the silence like a dull knife—low, hoarse, but laden with tension.

You passed him without answering, kicking your shoes off, the sound reverberating in the empty space. Every fiber of your body seemed to buzz, the burning sensation in your legs competing with the relentless throbbing in your head. Your legs were on the verge of betraying you, so weak from the long walk you had endured, and your stomach twisted emptily as if a pair of hands were tugging at the knot within it.

"I asked where you were," he repeated, rising slowly, as if even that was a monumental effort.

"If you already know the answer, why bother asking?" you replied, your voice harsher than you intended.

His arms were crossed, his gaze locking onto you with an intensity that made your head spin. "I still hope for a different answer."

"You sent me to hell before you left, and so I went."

"Look at you..." He gestured with his chin, forcing your eyes downward. "You can barely string a sentence together, your body’s trembling from the cold, and you don’t even have the belongings you left with..."

Your fingers were bare—every ring you had worn was now gone, traded away when you ran out of money on the streets.

"You left me alone all night! You’ve been leaving me alone every day, even when you’re right in front of me, unable to pay attention to what I say!"

"Don’t start, Noah." You turned to him, feeling your face heat up, anger from your last argument and the pounding in your head wrestling for control. "I don’t need this right now."

"Don’t need it?" He laughed, a bitter, humorless sound. "If you won’t talk about your responsibilities in this relationship, then let’s discuss your share of the work—work I’m left to handle alone!"

You stared at him, your chest rising and falling rapidly as his words struck like a slap. But the pain, the exhaustion, the swirling mix of emotions coursing through your veins, and the dizziness that blurred the house’s furniture—it was all too much.

Noah’s voice, initially low and tinged with disbelief, pierced the fog that kept you paralyzed. "What is this?" he asked, pointing at the cuts on your arm, the irritated redness around them, and the traces of dried blood marking your skin. Before you could react, he gripped your arm firmly, forcing you to meet his tear-filled eyes, brimming with fear and desperation.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, his voice faltering before rising to a tone that seemed to scream for the truth. "What is happening to you? FOR GOD’S SAKE, TALK TO ME!"

"LET ME GO!" you cried out between anguished sobs, struggling to free yourself from his worried grasp as he demanded answers. The sobs took over as you repeated softly, shaking your head in denial.

Noah released you slowly but remained still, as if every word had struck him down. "I just wanted you to tell me what I did to bring us here..."

"You keep getting it wrong, thinking everything about me reflects on you!" You exploded, clutching your temples with trembling hands. "Not everything is about you, Noah! I’m a human being with my own problems, and I can’t take not being able to suffer in peace because I have to worry about you!"

You screamed, your voice echoing between you like a sharp confession. "I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore."

Noah tried, his voice broken with pain, one last effort: "But I do it because I want to help you deal with this."

"BUT YOU CAN’T!" you yelled, raising your hands as if to push him away. "You can’t, Noah, not when I don’t even know how to deal with it myself! I don’t want your help, I don’t want to be fixed. I just want you to leave me alone with my pain, at least for one day!"

He stepped back, your words seeming to pull the ground out from under him. "You’ve been ruining my days, my nights, my celebrations, my birthday, and now my Christmas," his voice trembled, low but filled with hurt. "But that’s fine, right? Because talking about how this is destroying both of us would make it about me!"

"That’s not what I’m trying to tell you..." You couldn’t understand why it was so hard for him to see you, to see beyond your filthy, damp shell. You just wanted him to see what you were inside for once.

"Then make it clearer what you’re trying to tell me!"

"I’m not arguing with you now when I have to get up early tomorrow to fly with the band!" you replied, exhaling in exhaustion as you wiped the sweat from your forehead.

"You’re not going to that festival."

"What?" you shot back, frowning deeply.

The silence that followed was heavy and unbearable, his words reverberating in your mind, and the gap between you seemed impossible to bridge.

"We’ll issue a statement saying you’re sick and won’t be fulfilling the week’s schedule. We’ll perform without you." He sounded so resolute that you realized the idea hadn’t just occurred to him overnight. "I’m also discussing with the guys the possibility of removing you from next month’s tour."

"What the hell do you think you’re doing?"

"Showing you everything you’re losing every time you go against the proper flow of our river. I won’t let you ruin another tour because you decided this is how you want to live your life!" he said. "While you’re here, you’ll have plenty of time to get your head straight without my presence bothering you."

He hesitated for a moment, his voice cracking with the intensity of his words, while you took an involuntary step back, feeling their impact like a direct blow. His words seemed to linger in the silence, filling the space with a suffocating tension.

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, before turning and walking toward the bedroom. The walls seemed closer than ever, the hallway longer, each step echoing with the weight of the argument you had just left behind.

As you entered, you slammed the door shut, twisting the key in the lock before leaning against it. Your eyes burned, but the tears wouldn't come. All that remained was the silence and the sound of your heart pounding erratically.

Sliding down the door, you sat on the floor, knees pulled to your chest. Your heavy breathing made the air feel stifling, each inhale a struggle as though something was lodged in your throat. Your trembling hands fumbled for the phone in your pocket, nearly dropping it in the process. With effort, you unlocked the screen and scrolled through the contact list until her name appeared.

You pressed the call button, holding the phone tightly against your ear as the dial tone echoed in the line. Once, twice, three times. Always the same pattern, always the same outcome.

“Hi, you’ve reached Crystal’s phone. Please leave your message after the beep.”

The sound of her voicemail was like a familiar blow—expected, yet it still hurt. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back against the cold wood of the door, clutching the phone tightly.

“Mom…” The word came out more like a sigh than a spoken word. You cleared your throat, but your voice remained shaky. “I… I think I saw you today.”

You paused, biting your lip, feeling the tears finally welling up, stinging the corners of your eyes.

“You were wearing that red coat I always liked, and… I think you saw me too.”

Your voice broke, but you kept going.

“Why did you pretend not to know me? I know I’m still not the daughter you wanted, but… I’m trying. I swear I’m trying.”

The tears were finally falling, warm against your cold skin. You wiped them away with the back of your hand, but they kept coming, relentless.

“I just… I just wanted to hear your voice. To know you still care, in some way. Or that you… I don’t know, think of me sometimes.”

You laughed, a hollow, humorless sound, as you stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know why I keep trying, to be honest. I guess… I just needed to say this. Merry Christmas, Mom.”

Your voice trailed off at the end, almost a whisper. You ended the call, letting the phone fall to the floor beside you as the ache in your chest seemed to expand, consuming every space within you.

You stayed there, leaning against the door, staring into nothingness as the weight of silence filled the entire house.

Stepping out of the shower, you noticed the scale on the floor beside the sink. You hadn’t weighed yourself in ages, but overcoming the discomfort of being near it, you stepped onto the glass square. The numbers on the screen startled you, revealing how much weight you had lost. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you felt shock wash over you.

Nothing you saw pleased you, but wasn’t this what you wanted?

“What’s happening to me?” you murmured, barely audible.

The bones in your cheeks were visible, your collarbone pronounced, as well as your ribs and every vertebra of your spine. All the muscle definition in your arms and legs from the gym was gone; now they were straight and thin. You touched your fingertips to the mirror, trying to reach the woman you saw there. She was crying uncontrollably, looking heartbroken as she remembered why she had stopped glancing at mirrors in her house.

Your fingers clenched, nails making a faint noise against the glass, and your breathing was unsteady. All the dissatisfaction and bitterness with what you saw seemed to weigh down on you at once. Your scream wouldn’t come, stifled by something holding it back. Only a strange sound escaped your lips, accompanied by the tears.

No one needed to try to break you anymore; you had already done it yourself.

The impulse made you punch the mirror, which cracked into four irregular pieces, two of them falling onto the sink. Your reflection among the shattered glass only deepened the ache in your throat. Outside, the sound of activity pierced through the silence. You had spent so much time awake through the night that you didn’t notice the morning arrive. Noah was already dragging his suitcase to the door.

He had chosen to sleep in the guest room rather than speak to you.

After throwing on whatever clothes you found, you collapsed onto the couch in the living room with a tub of ice cream. You had no appetite but shoved spoonfuls into your mouth, as though the sensation of almost throwing up was oddly satisfying. The crumpled balls of paper scattered on the floor caught your eye. He had been writing last night when you walked in, and now he had taken the rest of the notebook.

Sitting on the couch, the notebook balanced on your lap and a pen spinning between your fingers, the blank page seemed to mock you. Concentration was completely absent as a spoonful of melted ice cream sat forgotten in a bowl nearby.

The sharp sound of the doorbell cut through the silence, drawing your gaze upward. Suspicious, you set the pen aside and got up, your bare feet making no noise as you approached the window. Peeking through the curtain, your heart pounded faster when you recognized Gerard standing on the porch, flanked by two men in white you’d never seen before. Your brow furrowed instinctively, a chill running down your spine.

The doorbell rang again, more insistently, as if he knew you were there. Hesitant, you moved toward the door, small, cautious steps. When you turned the knob and cracked it open, Gerard’s smile hit you like a punch to the gut. It wasn’t a normal smile; it was crooked, sinister, filled with intentions you couldn’t decipher.

“Nothing better than using the holidays for some self-care, right?” he said with mock cheerfulness.

“Gerard, what—” Your voice faltered as you noticed the movement of the men behind him.

Before you could react, they moved with terrifying speed, rushing through the door. You tried to retreat, but the space was too narrow. One of their strong hands grabbed your arm while the other moved to cover your mouth, muffling the scream forming in your throat. “No! Let me go!” You struggled, but their iron grip made escape impossible.

You felt a sharp prick in your neck, like a bee sting, and a wave of drowsiness swept over you. Your legs gave way, the world spinning, colors and sounds fading quickly. The last thing you saw was Gerard’s face, his smile widening as you lost consciousness.

“Don’t worry, he left you in good hands…”

His voice echoed as everything around you went dark.

When you opened your eyes, the blinding white light made them burn. You tried to lift your head, but you were immobilized, your arms and legs restrained. Pain throbbed at the side of your skull, the effects of the sedation still lingering, and the sterile smell of the room enveloped you, stifling.

Your gaze wandered to the ceiling until Gerard’s figure appeared at the edge of your vision, moving slowly until he stood beside the bed. He leaned in, his face close enough for you to see every detail, his eyes gleaming with a chilling coldness.

"Do you remember when I warned you about messing with me?"

His voice was low but carried an overwhelming authority, a promise of something far worse to come. You tried to speak, but nothing came out. Only fear seemed to pulse, filling every corner of your being as you lay there, helpless and vulnerable.

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @iluvmewwwww75 ; @anarchydomainglory ; @foliosgirl ; @lacy1986 ; @chey-h ; @supersquirrel1996 ; @zozaline​ ; @just-randomm-stuff